Ahhhh, yes, you’re in love. And you think he is too. You feel extraordinary because you always hang out, he treats you respectfully, and you couldn’t imagine yourself with anyone else. After only a month of dating, he made you his girlfriend, and now it’s been over a year, and you think the next likely big step is coming soon. So you wait.
When we meet a special guy, we can’t help but wonder if he’s the one. He seems like he is, but you’re thinking, Will he ever marry me?
In 2019, 39% of U.S. adult males were partnerless, compared to 36% of women, and that number is increasing. So the guys are out there, ladies. You just need to find one who’s interested in holy matrimony. However, for some reason, it doesn’t seem easy to do.
Believe it or not, there are clear signs that he will someday make you his blushing bride. However, on the flip side, he may have no intention of marrying you, and there are signs of that, too.
How Long Does It Take for Him to Know You’re “The One?”
If you’ve been patiently waiting for him to pop the question and you’re still unsure if and when it will happen, watch for the quiet signs. Guys throw out signals ranging from subtle to downright harsh. But, unfortunately, sometimes we don’t catch them.
For example, my best friend had been dating a guy for years. He told her from the beginning that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to get married. She brushed it off, assuming it was because their relationship was too new and she’d be able to change his mind.
Instead, whenever she mentioned one of our friends getting engaged, he’d laugh it off and make comments like “Poor sucker!” and then change the subject.
Toward the end of their relationship, she repeatedly tried to get him to take marriage seriously. “Lisa just got engaged, and they had only been dating for six months,” she announced to him and the rest of us in a crowded bar.
Fed up, he turned to her and said, “Well then, why don’t you go find someone interested in marrying you after only dating for six months because I’m not the one!”
After that face-slapping declaration, the relationship lasted only three months before they went their separate ways.
My friend wasn’t just upset because she finally realized he wouldn’t marry her. She was mad at herself for ‘wasting’ years with a guy who never intended to give her a ring. She was back to square one and vowed never to waste time on someone who showed no interest in getting married, hence, how this article came to be.
While everyone is different and there is no one answer, typically, if a guy considers taking you as his wife, he knows around the sixth or seventh-month mark.
7 Signs That, Yes, He Will Marry You
First, it’s important to note that commitment comes in varying forms. A man doesn’t always need to get down on one knee and propose to you for him to dedicate himself to you. However, if you have already had discussions about your future together, it’s a good sign that he’s into you. Here are other signs you’re headed down the aisle.
1). He Talks about a Long-Term Future with You
When a guy discusses the relationship in terms of the future, he’s in it for the long haul. He isn’t leaving it open to interpretation. Essentially, he’s telling you that you’re the one and that his future involves you.
This includes practical plans, like going on vacation together, or they may be more theoretical, like how many children you want and where to live.
A guy that’s considering marrying you is never afraid to discuss his hopes, dreams, and especially his future plans.
2). You’re Like a Part of His Family
It’s a significant milestone when you meet the family. But it’s even bigger when you are invited to family barbecues and on vacations. His sisters talk to you like you are part of the family, and you feel comfortable calling his mom simply to say ‘hello.’
When you have reached this stage, it demonstrates that you are on a higher level of intimacy because guys don’t bring just anyone around the family. Meeting the family tells a lot about your connection with each other.
At this point, it’s not about the length of time you’ve been together. It’s about your emotional bond with each other, which can come at four months or four years. So the timeframe is not a factor. However, before you get excited, note that this is only sometimes the case.
A college friend dated a guy for approximately four months. He invited her to all the family functions, and she even got along with his immediate and extended family. His mom even referred to her as sweetie and hon.
However, later we realize that he did this with all his girlfriends and that she wasn’t special. His poor mother could never remember all the girls’ names, so she always called them “sweetie” and “hon.”
They broke up two months later. But, being introduced to his family is typically a good (but not the only) sign for a future wedding.
3). He’s There for You No Matter What
Life has many ups and downs, and make no mistake; your relationship will be tested. However, guys who are fairweather* boyfriends are more likely to head for the hills as soon as challenging times surface.
However, if you have a guy who is supportive throughout your relationship and shows up when problems come knocking on your front door, then he is definitely a keeper. He understands real-world love is not some fairytale where everyone lives happily ever after. Relationships can be challenging, and he gets that, but he’s ready to put in the work.
*Loyal only during a time of success.
4). He Emotionally Opens up to You
He needs to open up to you emotionally to have a healthy and strong foundation. But, of course, opening up to someone doesn’t necessarily happen right away. Typically, it takes time to feel comfortable enough to tell you personal things.
However, when he emotionally opens up to you, he lets you know that he can relax around you and trust you with his innermost feelings.
When one (or both) lack emotional intimacy, it may feel like a deficiency of love, safety, overall connection, and support. It will also likely affect physical intimacy, making it challenging to sustain a long-term romantic relationship.
5). He Says “We” More than “I”
Shhhhh! Here’s a secret clue that you may hear some future wedding bells: Pay attention to the language he uses. Why? Because subconsciously, it may reveal how he views you and the relationship. A man who uses “we” more than “I” seriously thinks about you and him together.
For example, someone asks where you’ve decided to go for dinner, and he says, “We like that new Italian restaurant downtown,” as opposed to “I feel like sushi tonight.” This shows that he’s thinking about you, even if it is subconsciously.
When he uses the term “we,” he already feels a partnership with you and considers your feelings when he makes plans.
Married people are a unit and make plans together, so using this language is an excellent indicator that he’s considering putting a ring on it.
6). He Never Lets You Down
Sure, big gestures are romantic and can sweep you off your feet, especially during the start of your relationship. But the true test comes when he doesn’t let you down when you most need him.
For example, your car breaks down, and you need a ride. He’s there. Or, he surprises you with homemade soup when you’re sick in bed.
Being reliable and dependable shows emotional maturity and dedication to the one he loves. Sometimes, the small things make you feel good, like meeting you on time or following through on a promise he made to you. Gestures like these indicate that he’s totally in love with you, and you’re the one.
7). He Includes You in His Most Important Decisions
Healthy relationships always maintain a certain level of freedom and independence, but even so, marriage unites two people together that will make joint decisions.
However, married couples require compromise and consideration for each other’s feelings and choices. In a marriage, it’s no longer all about you. You now need to think in terms of us.
When he includes you in his important decision-making, he’s already thinking in marital terms. He not only tells you about some of his more significant choices but also asks for your opinion and advice. For example, he wants to know what you think about him getting a new job or buying a new car.
7 Signs that, Nope, Sorry, He Won’t Marry You
Indicators that he’s not interested in marrying you are always there. However, they’re subtle, and you may miss them. So watch out for these signs that say nope, he’s not interested in wife-ing you up.
1). You Don’t Have Your SH*T Together (And neither Does He)
If you are both aimlessly going through the motions of life and barely have a job or a place to live, then there are better choices than becoming nomads together.
Guys ready to get married are planning for the future regarding finances, and they want to marry a woman with whom they can grow old together.
Most men who are marriage material desire a woman who knows who they are and what they want out of life. They prefer someone who supports them in their goals and vice versa.
If you have no idea where you’re headed in life, they don’t want to be the ones to show you, as you shouldn’t be the one to show them. So get your shit together first, then check back with him later. Hopefully, he has his life together, and you both can move forward with future plans.
2). He’s Dangled That Carrot for Way Too Long
You’ve been together forever, and you’ve been ready to tie the knot for an even longer time. But, when you go out with your girlfriends, you complain. “It’s been 5 years. Why won’t he marry me?”
Unfortunately, your past is the best indicator of your future. In other words, if you constantly complain that he hasn’t married you after 5 years, don’t be surprised if you ask that exact same question in 10 or 20 years.
In many of these cases, the longer the relationship continues without him asking for your hand in marriage, the less likely it will ever happen.
3). He Tells You He Doesn’t Believe in the Institution of Marriage
Red flag alert! Red flag alert! It doesn’t get more obvious than this. Head for the hills when a man tells you he doesn’t believe in marriage. He’s letting you know that he doesn’t want to marry you.
When men make this statement, unfortunately, this sometimes prompts women to inquire why. My question is, does it matter? He’s already given you the heads up, so unless you want to delve into his mind and find out the innermost thoughts that cause him to want to forego the sanctity of marriage, blah, blah, blah, I’d move on.
When they tell you things like “I don’t need a piece of paper to define my love,” he’s telling you how he really feels, and you should listen. Even if, in a joking manner, he refers to marriage as a ball and chain, he’s not marriage material.
If your guy has a history of infidelity, don’t expect that to disappear overnight. Hoping so only sets you up for future heartache.
He won’t wake up one morning and say, “Hey, I think I’ll stop cheating and marry her.” It doesn’t happen that way. Constantly cheating on you is a sign he is unsure about his feelings for you. Maybe you’re not the one he wants to settle down with, or it may be that he doesn’t want to marry anyone ever. In either case, TAKE THE HINT.
5). He’s Unreliable
When a man takes other commitments in his life seriously, the more he’s likely to treat his relationship with enthusiasm.
Men who are inconsistent and impulsive are less likely to understand what it takes to maintain a successful marriage. If he shows a pattern of giving up too quickly, he may do that in his relationships. He may be confused about what he wants out of a relationship, and that’s okay. He’s just not marriage material for you.
6). You’re Not a Part of His Life
If he considers you a life partner, he will take the time to introduce you to his family and friends. He’ll invite you to family outings, and all his relatives will know who you are.
However, if this doesn’t happen, and it seems you know very little about his personal life, chances are he’s not ready to incorporate you into his lifestyle.
7). You Constantly Break Up
When stuck in a makeup breakup cycle, you have compatibility issues, and one or both of you are emotionally unavailable. Your feelings for each other are not strong enough to deal with conflict in a healthier manner.
So you constantly call it quits. If you are ready to get married, you both should know that the foundations of your relationship are sturdy. He may feel that even in the marriage, things aren’t going to change, and you will walk out the door once times get tough.
Guys give signs that they’re ready to walk down the aisle with you. However, it would help if you recognized them. Sometimes when we want him to be the one, we notice the cues, but we ignore them.
All this said, please don’t change your behavior to make him marry you. If he’s not going to marry you, no personality or physical alteration will change that. Instead, enjoy the relationship for what it is and when you realize you both want different things, move on.