What Is a Unicorn in Dating and How to Find One

Women Kissing Man on Cheeks - Gender Unicorn

When you hear the term ‘unicorn,’ you likely think of a mythical horned creature that is rarer than most fantasy animals. So, learning that the word ‘unicorn’ is being used on the dating scene might be tough to wrap your head around.

You’re not the only one. We were also confused and curious about what a unicorn is because, in the dating world, it might not be a mythical creature, but it’s just as rare.

So, where are unicorns found? Simple – polyamorous circles. When you enter the polyamorous dating world, you will come across the term at one point or another, and it’s important to know what it is and how to find one if you’re interested in exploring your sexuality.

This article covers everything you need to know about Unicorn Dating, including how to find a unicorn if you’re interested in adding a third individual to your relationship.

What Is a Unicorn in Dating?

It’s time to answer the burning question. In the dating sphere, a unicorn is a person attracted to both male-gendered and female-gendered individuals and looking to become a third party in a relationship. They will most likely be gender-fluid or bisexual.

A unicorn may be looking for a one-night stand, fling, or something serious and long-term. Additionally, a unicorn might want to exclusively date a couple or wish to have complete freedom to date the couple and whoever they meet outside of the ‘throuple dynamic.’

Moreover, a unicorn might be involved with a couple sexually or non-sexually, and some unicorns are only interested in sexual fantasy and role play. That’s why finding a unicorn that matches all partner’s needs is challenging, so don’t assume to know their sexual or personal preferences when dating them.

Why Call Them a Unicorn?

An individual is called a unicorn because, as with a mythical creature, a dating unicorn can be just as hard to find.

Finding a person you and your partner are compatible with will be challenging, but if you determine what you’re looking for from the beginning, it will help guide you toward the right person.

Additionally, since most people prefer a monogamous dating life, their sexual preferences can make finding a person who wants to be a third a lot harder.

Unicorn Dating Tips

Fortunately, you can follow tips to ensure a polyamorous relationship with a unicorn goes well. Have a look at these tips below:

  • Always ensure all three people are on the same page concerning what they do and don’t want to do during the relationship. Getting this out of the way up front will ensure no awkward situations or conversations arise.
  • Remember that a ‘throuple’ is harder to navigate and that you each have your feelings and opinions. This means that each person needs to respect the boundaries of the other – even the unicorns.
  • Ensure everyone talks amongst themselves openly about their thoughts and concerns surrounding fantasies and sexual fantasies.
  • A couple and their unicorn should establish ground rules and logistically plan. For example, will you be a private or public throuple, and whose house will the throuple activities take place at? You will also need to establish if you should be involved sexually and if going on dates and sleepovers is part of your dynamic.
  • It’s crucial to remember that you and your partner and your unicorn can change your mind and say no at any point in time for any reason.

What Are the Challenges Associated with Dating a Unicorn?

You wouldn’t be reading this if finding a unicorn was easy. Unicorn dating has been known to sour a lot of pallets because, unfortunately, more often than not, the experience is too complicated or demanding. After all, if it isn’t a one-time thing, you and your partner will have to take time to get to know a new person you want to add to your relationship.

Additionally, most mates have high expectations sexually and romantically, so jealousy can become a big problem for new couples wanting to insert a unicorn into their coupling. That’s why it’s crucial to determine how much time a duo will spend with their unicorn to avoid jealous situations between the core couple.

Another issue is that with there being so few unicorns out there, they also have a lot of other potential couples. This competition has created a toxic environment for polyamorous couples on dating sites and apps.

To avoid a toxic ‘throuple,’ you need to prevent controlling behaviors with your unicorn and take the time to truly get to know them. Remember, they are not an object to fulfill your sexual fantasies but a person with thoughts and feelings.

What Are the Benefits Associated with Dating a Unicorn?

We briefly discussed the possible challenges, but what about the upsides? Unicorn dating has many benefits if you’re a polyamorous person or a couple. For example:

  • The sex. Yes, the sex gets spiced up and way more thrilling. It changes the norm of monogamous sex habits and brings a more exciting way of ‘getting down to things’ to the table.
  • The loyalty. Unicorns are generally committed to one couple and will stick through thick and thin if they find the perfect match.
  • Companionship. Having an extra companion can make a difference, especially in challenging times.
  • The good times. Remember that this is a whole new person; you will be able to create unique and happy memories.

Needless to say that having a unicorn can make monogamous life seem too dull to go back to if you can find the right dynamic with the right person.

How Do You Find a Unicorn to Date

Now that you know more about the challenges and benefits of dating a unicorn, we want to discuss how you find one to add to your core relationship. We have listed a few ways below.

Polyamory Social Media Groups

To get started, you may want to start your search by joining dedicated polyamory Groups. These groups will have a whole community that you can connect with. Once you are in, you can ask questions and find your unicorn through potential events and get-togethers. 

It is also a great space to learn through other people’s experiences and get the support you will need in the near future. Unfortunately, as much as we are in a ‘woke 2022,’ social standings and norms for LGBTQ+ rights are still incredibly hard to deal with when you encounter the narrow-minded – even in polyamorous relationships.

Dating Sites and Apps

This is likely your best source for finding a unicorn, and that’s because there are niche dating sites you can go to to find one. Need to know which sites to go to? We have our top picks ready for you to try and find your ideal unicorn below.

Site Details Visit
UnicornsNear.Me Logo Table Unicorns Near Me

This site is perfect for green partners looking for their unicorn. It connects you with unicorn candidates while also connecting you with other couples in the community. Those who join their VIP program can see who has viewed their profiles and have unlimited messaging and photo galleries. The site also has 24-hour support and is protected to ensure that only genuine unicorn daters are ready to mingle.

Unicorn Dates Logo Table Unicorn Dates

Unicorn Dates is for couples who enjoy polyamory and are explicitly looking for a female unicorn. This site shows you profiles exclusively within your area but can expand to other cities. You can also look forward to connecting with others through their profiles, Unicorn Dates Forums, and blog posts.

OkCupid Logo Table OkCupid

OkCupid is one of the most LQBTQ+-friendly Dating apps out there, and it allows those looking for love to fill in various identities or orientations when setting up a profile. This makes it an excellent place to search for those elusive unicorns.
Additionally, OkCupid provides security by allowing you to report anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable and will enable you to limit who can see your profile.


Now that you have everything you need to know, we are sure that your quest to find a unicorn will be successful. Before you go, we want to tell you that patience is a virtue, and usually, there is no love at first sight. Still, with patience and determination, the perfect unicorn is undoubtedly out there waiting for you to find.

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