Many people who embark on a journey into online dating have one destination in mind – they’re trying to find lasting love online!
Under the most widely understood definition, people want true love in the classic form of a long-lasting, committed, and trusting relationship. People who want this are disappointed by dates that come and go, and they might be wondering why they can’t seem to find the lasting results they’re looking for.
Luckily, there are some effective strategies that can help people find lasting love online!
1. Don’t Put Your Life on Hold
It might be tempting to drop everything and focus all of your energy on finding that lasting love online. But if you remember, lasting relationships typically involve partners who continue to maintain their lives, relationships, and interests even after they’ve found each other. So, putting things on hold won’t help you find a relationship that embodies that quality!
2. Be Honest
It can be tempting to exaggerate qualities or try to put on a “better” face when meeting someone online. Many people do this to try and make themselves more attractive to their potential romantic partners.
But lasting relationships are built on honest, open communication, so if you start out without being honest, you’re setting yourself up for disappointing results. Be honest from the start so that you can build the trusting, lasting relationship you want to have.
3. Don’t Base the Future on a First Impression
Remember that common misconceptions can make you think that a first impression will tell you everything you need to know about a match. But in reality, you need to get to know someone a little before realizing whether or not they could be the right one for you.
So, unless you see any red flags or deal breakers, give people a chance to show you who they are! If there’s an attraction there, things are likely to get more exciting as you get closer to each other. Don’t give up too soon and miss out on the lasting relationship you’ve been looking for.
4. Focus on Asking and Listening
Many people are so focused on making a good impression on their match that they forget about the other person entirely! Focus on what they’re saying, and ask them questions about what you’d like to know about them instead of worrying about your own image.
This will help you get to know them, decide whether they’re worth pursuing, and build a foundation for a successful, long-lasting relationship. You’ll make them feel valued, attractive, and interesting, making them like you more!
If you’re worried about making a great impression, making them feel heard and asking them questions is a great way to accomplish that. And if you find that this is a struggle because you’re not really interested in them, that’s a good indicator that it’s time to spend your time messaging someone else – so dive back into the online dating pool and start again!
5. Make it Fun!
Make sure your conversation with your match is a fun experience for both of you! The last thing you want is for both of you to feel like you’re there to give them the third degree. It shouldn’t be just a list of questions and answers – it should be fun, full of flirting, and anecdotes that speak to your character.
Keep things interesting, and if the conversation starts to lull, feel free to end the conversation and ask when you can pick things up later! Avoiding a boring slump is a great way to leave your match wanting more, and peaking their interest is an exciting way to lay the foundation for a lasting relationship.
6. Don’t Stop Believing
Even if things don’t work out with someone you’re talking to, keep that faith! Your match is out there, and your lasting relationship is waiting for you in the future.
You’re going to have to contact plenty of people before you find the right match, according to the statistics. Some time will pass, but that doesn’t make red flags any more appealing.
Don’t stop believing that you’ll find something more tailored to you, and don’t ever settle for less than what you’re looking for! Odds are, if you do, you’ll be left with a relationship that’s not healthy – and not lasting.
7. Expect Some Rejection
This concept of keeping faith extends to rejection as well. You’re not always going to be on the end that decides to break things off. And sometimes, you’re likely to be a bit surprised.
Maybe you thought things were going really well, but your match wasn’t feeling the same way. In these cases, it’s always better to let things go gracefully and dive back into the online dating pool than to let circumstances shake your confidence.
You don’t need to take it personally. If they didn’t like you enough, you wouldn’t want to be with them anyway – that’s not the relationship you’ve been looking for! And not the partner you want.
8. Check Your Reservations at the Sign In Page
Don’t bring your trust issues along with you to start a new conversation! While our past experiences will inevitably shape the way we view relationships, making a conscious effort to see each new conversation as a fresh start will serve you well.
That doesn’t mean forget the wisdom you’ve learned over time and become prey to a catfish or scammer – just don’t hold other people’s actions against your new romantic interest! Just because one person cheated on you doesn’t mean this new person is destined to do the same thing. And if you go into every new conversation riddled with fear, the people you’re talking to will notice.
In the worst-case scenario you could create a self-fulfilling prophecy, proving to your most insecure self that your reservations were spot on – creating a loop that you don’t want to be in!
So break the loop before it begins, see each new conversation as new, and check your reservations when you hit the login button!
9. Take Time and Effort to Build Your Relationship
Plants don’t grow on their own, even if it seems like they do. They need to be nourished with sunlight and water, and then they’ll naturally take it from there. Relationships are no different – they require time and attention in order to grow!
So take the time to check in on the person you’re dating regularly so things don’t fizzle out. Give your match the attention they’re do by asking them questions and responding to their answers thoughtfully.
If you brush things off and leave dating to your spare time, your relationship may not get what it needs in order to grow healthy and strong.
10. Don’t Be Afraid to Express Yourself
In order to see if the relationship’s right, you need to express yourself. If you can’t openly and honestly express your feelings and opinions, the relationship won’t work. So you need to test the waters and make sure you’re always valued and respected by your potential partner, even if you happen to disagree. And the only way to do that is to express yourself!
The longer you wait, the less comfortable you’ll be. And if you wait and stifle your expression, your romantic interest may get a different impression of you and not understand who you are. That won’t help you to build a lasting relationship!
So have no fear, and seek out a listening ear. If you get the response you’re looking for, you know you’re chatting with a good candidate for a lasting relationship.
11. Handle Conflicts Respectfully
On the other hand, you need to show your potential partner that you respect and value their opinions and feelings. So if you disagree with something they say, you need to approach the conflict in a respectful way.
Conflict shouldn’t be avoided – it should be embraced! Showing them that you can handle differences of opinion without disrespecting them shows that you’re a great candidate for a long-lasting, healthy relationship. That sets you up for the success you want!
12. Be Flexible
If you’re talking to someone online and they say they want something in particular and end up changing their mind in a few weeks, don’t hold it against them if it doesn’t directly affect you.
For example, if someone’s considering taking an art class and then decides to spend more time making social media videos instead, be supportive of their choice.
When you’re flexible, it’ll show them that you like them – not what they’re doing at a particular moment. And the point of lasting relationships is that they involve two evolving individuals over time.
So showing someone you’re flexible makes you a great candidate for a long-term commitment! Watch for this attractive attribute in your potential partners as well.
13. Take Your Time
If you’re in it for the long haul, there’s no need to rush anything! You don’t need to decide that the person you’re talking to is “the one” within the first week of dating.
And you don’t need to start introducing them to your friends and family members in the first month. Space things out! Take the time, do it right.
14. Maintain a Healthy Mindset
Keep some mental reminders around to help you maintain a healthy mindset during the online dating process. You can even jot down some of these tips!
Make sure you continue to focus on the end game so that you don’t get too down about matches that don’t work out.
- Keep your eye on red flags, dealbreakers, and a carefully curated checklist of meaningful attributes – and take action when you need to.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away, express yourself, or disagree with the person you’re dating online. Dedicate time and effort to your budding relationships without making any sacrifices.
- Check in on a regular basis
- Make sure your mindset is keeping you on track to finding a healthy, lasting relationship!