Long Distance Relationships: Can They Really Work?

Man and Woman Almost Holding Hands - Red String Heart

Those who have experienced long distance relationships (LDR) know they can be difficult. Not only do you have to deal with the distance, but you also have to deal with irrelevant comments like, “You know they’re cheating on you,” or “This will never work.”

Don’t worry about these remarks. While this may have been their experience, it doesn’t have to be yours. Even in a non-long distance relationship, it’s natural to feel insecure at times, so one that is distant can make you feel even less confident. However, you can take steps to make your long-distance relationship work. It may take more effort, but your long-distance relationship can withstand the test of time. Here are seven tips to keep the spark going, even if you’re miles apart.

Plan a Regular Activity Together

Thank goodness for technology. Read some poetry together over the phone. It sounds cringy, but it’s actually charming. If romantic is not your type, try dirty limericks. You’ll be laughing together all night long. Just make sure no one is around when you do.

Schedule a weekly Zoom or Skype call so you can see their beautiful smiling face. It doesn’t matter what activity you choose. The important thing is to engage in something you both enjoy. Grab a soda and some popcorn, and check out a Netflix watch party.

Again, pick whatever activity you prefer. The goal is to do something at the same time. Doing these activities together in a long-distance relationship makes you appreciate your partner even more.

Other Activities to Bond over in Your Long-Distance Relationship

  • Since you can’t wait to see each other again, take all that energy and build excitement by starting a countdown for your reunion. You can use a free online app or go old-school and mark it on your paper calendar. Watch how much fun it is to mark off each day with an X.
  • Try some online games – Online sites like Yahoo and Pogo offer multiplayer games for free so you can spend time in a little friendly competition with your partner.
  • Exchange your favorite recipe, and on a scheduled date night, prepare each other’s dish. Then, hop online and enjoy a delicious dinner together. If you prefer a show, have your dinner during a Netflix watch party.
  • If you both like to read, pick a book like a thriller or non-fiction and start a book club. Every week, schedule a discussion for each chapter. This is another excuse to schedule a call to connect with your partner. Try selecting a book made into a movie so watching the movie together can be your next activity. It’s all about planning ahead.
  • Make a joint Pinterest account and add different boards like “places we’d like to visit” and “exciting date ideas.” Download the app so you can stay in touch even on the go.
  • You may not have the funds to jet set off to the Fiji islands, but you do have the Internet so take a virtual vacation with your partner. Pick a place you’ve always wanted to visit and hop online for a virtual tour. Who knows, you may be able to visit your luxurious destination sooner than you think.

Be Flexible with Communication Times

You may not always be available to talk when your partner is. To avoid missing each others’ calls, schedule ahead. You may have some unexpected free time and want to talk to them, so set up a unique texting code to let them know when you are free. Then, if your partner is free, they can call or message you.

Keep in mind that they may be at work or in class, so you can’t expect the other person to immediately drop what they’re doing. This mutual understanding is crucial in avoiding hurt feelings. You may feel rejected, which causes you to respond with an unnecessary text. Remember, situations become amplified when you’re not physically together, and you may end up saying something you regret later.

So, What Do You Do in between the Call and Texts?

Of course, you will miss them, so when your partner is unavailable, spend time leafing through your phone and looking at the pictures of the times you were together. Also, you can write them a love letter or email and send it off. If your partner is currently busy, they’ll get the heartfelt email when available.

Random Acts of Kindness

You don’t have to wait until a scheduled time to contact your partner. Instead, you can let them know you’re thinking about them anytime with random acts of kindness.

For example, send some flowers or a fruit basket to help brighten their day. You can even put a card in the mail, so they’ll soon receive it and know you were thinking about them. Knowing someone is thinking about you feels good and reinvigorates you to your core.

Should You Surprise Your Partner with Gifts?

Absolutely! The simple act of sending roses or chocolates becomes much more special when you’re long distance. Stuffed animals are more sentimental because they remind you of your special person. If you have an upcoming special occasion, order it now and have it delivered on the exact date.

Long Distance Relationship Gift Ideas

Some couples even go as far as surprising their partner with a special gift; themselves. If possible, make a surprise visit to see your Hunny. It’s not always economical, so when it happens, it’s awesome.

Have Sex (Without Having Sex)

Today, you can have sex without physically touching one another. Thanks to modern technology, you can now do sexting (sending sexual texts). Although this might seem like something only younger couples do, the truth is more and more mature long-distance couples partake in this risque rendezvous. Sexting is a refreshing way to keep the spark lit. However, make sure you find a private place where you can be alone.

3 Common Ways to Sext

There’s only so much you can do to keep your long distance relationship strong. You can’t get jealous whenever they talk about someone other than you or if they have friends of the opposite sex. That gets tired quickly and takes up energy you could use to enjoy time with your partner. If your partner doesn’t give you a reason to mistrust them, relax and go with that.

  • The Text: This is the first form of sexting. You would send a short but sweet “I love you” or “I miss holding you in my arms” message. Since the introduction of Snapchat, Messenger, or On Instagram, this way of sexting is less common.
  • The Photo: This usually comes in the form of a nude image. The words are not nearly as important as the visuals. Many feel this type of texting is much more stimulating. You don’t need to interpret the words because it’s all out there, so to speak, on the screen.
  • Voice Message: This type of message is rare and usually reserved for sex professionals, like cam girls. Couples in long-distance relationships rarely use this method, but it’s still available as an option.
  • Helping to build trust in couples in an LDR
  • Keeping the desire alive
  • Reducing sexual frustration
  • Allowing you to know your partner better sexually
  • Risking your photos will be seen
  • Being a little too overt with pictures
  • Your partner not liking them

Keep Constant Reminders Near

Photos are an excellent way to keep your partner in front of you even if they aren’t physically in front of you. The good news is, instead of a clunky, old-school photo album, your partner’s gorgeous smile is just a swipe away in your phone.

Do you have a favorite song? Use it as your ringtone. Every time someone calls you, you’ll think of him. Do you have a favorite article of clothing? Wear it to bed every night, or place it on your pillow. It’ll be like your partner is right next to you, or at least the next best thing. Go to bed watching your partner’s favorite movie. You’ll have sweet dreams all night long. The point is to do anything that reminds you of your long-distance lover so you won’t miss them as much.

How to Handle Being around Others You Find Attractive

Whether you’re near or far, this situation is nothing new. However, it may be more difficult if you haven’t seen your love and don’t plan to see them for some time. To combat this, talk about your partner as much as possible around your classmates, co-workers, or anyone you’re around frequently. Doing so lets them know you are in a committed relationship.

Get Rid of the Jealousy Monster and Have a Little Faith

There’s only so much you can do to keep your long-distance relationship strong. You can’t get jealous whenever they talk about someone other than you or if they have friends of the opposite sex. That gets tired quickly and takes up energy you could use to enjoy time with your partner. If your partner doesn’t give you a reason to mistrust them, relax and go with that.

Turning Your LDR into Marriage

Most people hold on to a long-distance relationship because they hope for a more profound commitment in the future. However, to turn your LDR into marriage, you must remain steadfast in your devotion to each other. Here are 6 top tips on how to make your bond unbreakable.

1. Have Trust in Each Other

You must’ve had trust if you made it this far in your relationship. So continue remaining loyal to each other. A major challenge in an LDR is trusting your partner because you have no idea what they are doing when they are so far away. Dedication is a way for you to feel at ease until you can reconnect once again.

2. Allow Your Family and Friends to Get To Know Your Partner

You don’t have the option of bringing your love to the family barbecue or hanging out for some drinks with your friends, but you can still interweave them into your family. Talk about them to your family. Show pictures, so they know you’re serious; when you are at a family gathering, facetime your partner so they can be there without physically being there. Your family and friends will know you are serious the more you talk about your LDR partner.

3. Visit Regularly

Airfare is not cheap, so if you gather the funds and make trips to see each other regularly, your partner will know you’re serious. Even if it’s only for a weekend, make an effort. Seeing each other reminds you why you fell in love in the first place and can help reignite that spark until the next time you can see them.

4. Make Future Plans

Start planning your life together by discussing how often you will visit each other, where you will live, and your plans for the future. Doing so will help ensure you are both on the same page regarding your relationship.

5. Remain Positive

The distance can be taxing on a relationship. You may feel like giving up. But hang in there and stay positive. Since you don’t have the luxury of seeing them in person regularly, you need to rely on those limited times when you can connect via text or a phone call.

You don’t want to waste energy being in a foul mood when you talk to each other. It’s okay to get down. But try not to call or text during those times. Wait until you raise your spirits before talking again.

6. Be Patient

Do not count the time, and learn how to wait. Counting time will only make you anxious and not enjoy the moment when you do connect again. Don’t get upset if you miss a call, there will be another. If you can’t reach them immediately, leave a message, and they will get back to you. Don’t spend time wondering about negative things. Take the situation at face value and keep it moving. A long-distance relationship requires extra understanding and patience.

Marriage doesn’t happen overnight, especially in an LDR. Don’t force the relationship in order to get to the end goal of marriage. Let your love unfold naturally. Enjoy the journey, and don’t get discouraged if things don’t work out the way you want them to. Keep working at it, and soon you will see it was all worth it.

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