After taking a poll of single people, the number one reason they say they don’t pay for an online dating site is that they don’t believe they’re going to find their match, and who can blame them? Of course, we’ve all heard horror stories about losers and stalkers, but we bet you didn’t know that many who use dating apps find their true love. So the question is, can that be you?
To find Mr or Miss Right, you have to not only sign up for the site but also need to utilize it properly. According to a Stanford University research study, the number of people who use dating apps has steadily increased over the past few years and is now the number one way couples meet.
While this information gives some hope, we understand that navigating online dating sites may be frustrating and overwhelming. So, here are 12 online tips to help you successfully snag the person of your dreams and live happily ever after.
1). Say ‘Buh-Bye’ if They Aren’t Texting You Back
No matter your age, you don’t want to waste time with someone who doesn’t bother to reach out enough or at all. It’s great that you made an initial connection, but keep it moving if they don’t message you back in a timely manner.
Anyone genuinely interested in getting to know you will promptly hit you back unless they’ve been abducted by aliens and have been living on planet Zork for the last week. Otherwise, they can kick rocks.
2). Find Someone Who Makes It Convenient
You never want to be the one making all the sacrifices. So instead, wait for someone who goes out of their way for you.
For example, they pick a place to meet closest to your apartment and a time that makes it easy for you. It’s OK to compromise, but if they insist on meeting you somewhere two hours away because it’s near their job, imagine what will happen if you get together and begin regularly dating. They’ll rarely, if ever, compromise, and you’ll wind up doing all the work.
Additionally, when someone says they want to “meet up sometime,” but you have to track them down to pinpoint a time and place, they aren’t really interested in getting together with you.
Unfortunately, that’s the typical mentality you find on most dating apps. You’re not special. They put the “hey, let’s meet” out there to several people to see what sticks.
However, if they want to meet you and they schedule the time and place, you know they’re interested and not wasting your time. Also, give a few bonus points if they ask what’s a good time and location for you.
3). Stop Being Cheap. Pay for the Site if They Have What You Want
Some people weigh the cost against who they think is out there for them. If the site has the population you want to date, pay for it. It will be worth it.
However, if you are in search of a long-term relationship, you’ll want to consider sites like eHarmony and Match, which specialize in this category. Another option is to visit free sites, but remember, you get what you pay for.
4). Keep an Open Mind
You might not get a lot of online dates because you’re looking for a particular type. But think about it; you’re using an online app because you’ve tried dating your type in the “real world,” and that didn’t work out for you.
So, what makes you think sticking with that same criteria will work for you now?
Next time you see a dark-haired guy that’s attractive, give him a shot. Searching for your type has only gotten you so far, so see what happens when you step outside the box.
5). Stop Looking for Dates While on a Date
This should be common sense, but you’d be surprised at the people who, while on a date, are swiping right for their next date. C’mon, give the first date sitting across from you–or any date–a fighting chance to impress you without your attention being on someone else.
So, to be respectful, even if the date is a bust, turn off notifications on all your apps, especially dating ones, so you aren’t distracted. This way, you can be completely present on a date with one person while still receiving an incoming message from someone else. Wait until you get home to check. Then, you’ll be able to read each message comfortably.
6). Welcome Cultural Differences
It may seem more comfortable to date the type we’re used to. But unfortunately, that limits our prospects. To get more online dates, consider giving someone with a different background a chance.
You can find your match much better when you go into it with an accepting and open attitude regarding differences. Feel free to mix cultures.
For example, you may be Jewish, but your perfect match is of Italian descent. So what? Why not give it a try? Stay open to what makes you different, and teach each other about your customs and traditions. At the very least, you can make a great friend.
7). Head Straight for the “Regular “Photo That Matches Their Bio
Of course, people will put their best retouched photos on their profiles. While there’s nothing wrong with that, you don’t get the complete picture (no pun intended).
Instead of those perfect modeling headshots, look for ones that tell more about the person.
For example, check out the photo of the guy in the kitchen cooking or walking his dogs on the beach. Then, match that up with his bio.
If her bio says she works out occasionally, and you see a photo of her working out, but the following image is of her eating pizza and drinking beer. If a balanced lifestyle is what you’re looking for, she might be a match.
Things You Should Put In Your Dating Profile
Are you trying to figure out the best way to portray yourself on a dating app? Naturally, you want to appear available but not desperate, especially when you’re attempting to match up with someone who shares your interest (and good looks don’t hurt either.) So here are some tips on adequately representing the real you with an online profile.
Say what you want
Stop beating around the bush. If you want a long-term commitment, say it. Then, it will be easier to weed out commitment-phobes just looking for a good time.
While being generic may land you more dates, you’ll likely waste your time figuring out the ones that are a good match. So instead, to filter better and faster, make your intentions clear.
Make sure you have prep questions
You won’t have too much time to think about what you want to ask your dates, so it’s an excellent idea to have a set of questions that matter to you ready to ask.
A savvy question on your profile helps introductions flow easier between you and your matches. It could also encourage intimacy much faster. Additionally, a clever question is a simple method to spark conversations and makes your conversations more engaging.
Note that we said “clever” and “savvy.” Nothing kills a profile more than boring questions like “What was your favorite subject in college and why?”
Instead, ask a question like “If you were a dog, what type would you be and why?” This out-of-the-ordinary inquiry requires a thoughtful response and sparks further conversation. If you need help coming up with a question, check online, where you can find tons.
Give all the deets
Share all specific interests. For instance, say you prefer hole-in-the-wall dive bars rather than upscale martini bars. Likewise, if you have a favorite sports team, don’t be afraid to say it. (Ahem, Eagles!) The more specific you are, the better the conversations.
Show authentic pictures
Let’s be honest here; some people on dating apps go straight for the pics and stop there. Or, even if they do eventually get to the information, it’s the images that first capture their attention.
This is why it’s essential to show the real you minus all the filters and editing. Online experts suggest using a clear body shot or an image of your face. An action shot of you in your element (ex, skiing, partying, at the beach) is excellent. It allows someone to get to know you better through pictures.
A big NO in a profile is images of kids unless they’re your kids. Adding photos of kids to your profile may need to be clarified and leave someone guessing if you have kids, don’t have kids, run an orphanage, or what.
Please do not let your negative side take over. Sometimes we can be tempted to be cynical in our profiles without even knowing it. We think we’re being witty, but it sounds more like a whining jerk.
Bios that state things like “Don’t bother if you’re under six feet tall” and “Don’t waste my time. Only serious need to apply” are major turn-offs. People who may be a good match will abide by your wishes and not bother, so mission accomplished.
Remember, dating should be fun and exciting. You want someone stimulating and a productive addition to your life instead of a potential downer.
8). Write Down Everything You’re Looking For in a Relationship
When someone asks what you’re looking for in a relationship, you should be able to blurt out your numbers one, two, and three right away. While kind of cheesy, asking what you want from your relationship is a valid question that makes sense. It also makes your search much easier when you both are on the same page.
On the other hand, if you both want opposite traits in someone, finding out sooner than later also makes it easier.
In fact, there are more specific apps for such requirements. Additionally, if you are looking for something more casual than a long-term relationship, there are apps for that as well.
However, don’t lie. In the scenario above, don’t say salary doesn’t matter when it does. You risk people who don’t meet your requirements contacting you, which only wastes your time and theirs.
9). Save the Best Conversation Points for the In-Person Date
When first getting to know each other online, it’s all about the preliminaries. By that, we mean it’s all about the initial attraction. It’s also about what they’re looking for in a relationship.
However, the biggest successes come during the actual date. This is why you should move from your phone to real life as quickly as possible.
Typically, when you spend weeks texting or messaging someone you haven’t met, by the time you meet, it can feel like you have answered all your getting-to-know-you questions online, which can make the in-person meet fall flat.
The goal is to meet after a couple of messages. IYKYK and most people find clear intentions and decisiveness attractive and refreshing.
Unfortunately, on apps, people can appear to be one-dimensional. So, the benefit of meeting IRL is that it’s a great way to set yourself up for a successful relationship because you get to know them better.
10). State Your Values Up Front
For some, faith is very important when it comes to dating, so you want to put this into your profile. If you meet in person, reiterate your core values so they know how serious you are about them.
Additionally, always be clear about your deal breakers. Never sacrifice your beliefs and morals just because they look good. A big misconception is that if everything else matches on paper (ex, looks, likes, dislikes), you can overlook some things. This is not true. Even if you hit it off upon the first, second, or tenth meeting, eventually, it will catch up to you.
For example, they may not figure out well after you get to know them that you go to church every Sunday and Wednesday. But then they get upset when you don’t have time for them on those days.
Or you get upset when they have no desire to attend church with you. But, again, be upfront, and don’t put your values on the back burner. You may end up resenting them later.
11). Talk to Your Friends
Don’t be ashamed if you’re using dating apps to find someone special. Sometimes, we’re embarrassed and don’t want people to know that we’re looking online. While that may have been a valid point years ago, online sites are how most people find love today. If you haven’t used one, chances are you know someone that has.
While it’s been around for a while, online dating is still relatively new, so share your worries and frustrations as much as you share your joys and excitement. Sometimes it can feel like a dead end because it can become discouraging when you date more duds than studs.
12). Take a Break
The idea is to keep trying until you find your perfect partner. However, don’t be afraid to step back and take a break from it all when you need to. Sometimes, it can feel like your search is never ending and that you’ll never find your match.
Online dating has made it much easier to find “the one.” Unfortunately, it has also made it easier for duds to find you. However, use these suggestions to make better matches. You’ll get more quality online dates, which makes finding what you’re looking for much more effortless.