There is no better feeling than when a first date goes really well! But how do you keep the momentum and interest going after this time has passed? Or how can you begin to strengthen a relationship if the date was so-so? Good follow-up after a first date is key to further developing the relationship with that special someone and can even help you to clinch a second date or meetup!
We are talking, of course, about what kind of text messages to send after your first date has wrapped up. It is not only important for these texts to be of good quality, but it is important to time them correctly based on how interested the other person is in you!
Check out our official 2023 guidelines and rules for texting after the first date!
#1: Tell Them How You Felt About the Date
One of the most important things to communicate right after the date was how you felt the date went! This can be as simple as telling your date that you had a really fun time. You can even go further than that and tell them that you really enjoy their presence and that the date had good vibes all the way around! If the date was the most fun you have had in a while, feel free to tell your date that you had a blast and would love to do it again sometime soon.
It is important to time out this text correctly. It is generally a good rule of thumb to send a text like this a few hours after the date has ended. It doesn’t matter if there was low or high interest there between the two of you. It is just a classy, common-courtesy move!
#2: Ask Them How They Are Doing
Another great follow-up text after the first date is to ask them how they are doing. If you are feeling a little flirty, you can also let them know that you have been thinking about them since you last saw them. With this kind of follow-up question, you are clearly showing your interest in them and what is going on in their life. But this also gives them a chance to give you some updates. This can lead to a whole conversation where you can continue to learn about them and build up the relationship.
#3: Text a “Thank You” the Same Day
As we mentioned before, you will want to time out your text messages to strike while the iron is hot! This is especially important if you and your date both seem interested in one another.
We highly recommend doing a follow-up text on the same day but a few hours after the date.
In this text, you will want to either thank your date for the time out or tell your date that you had a great time. This is a great course of action because you and your date have had a few hours to process the date. And if you are both interested in one another, getting a follow-up that same day does not leave either of you hanging or thinking that the other is not interested!
#4: Wait a Day or Two Before Asking for a Second Date
As we said earlier, timing is key when it comes to texting after the first date. There might be genuine interest there between the two of you, but you also do not want to come across as overly eager or, worse, desperate or clingy. You want to play it cool when it comes time to ask your date out a second time.
Our official recommendation is to wait a day or two before asking for another date. There is nothing wrong with that initial follow-up text saying you had a great time and that you and your date should do it again sometime soon. But what we are referring to is making concrete plans for the second date. Wait a few days before approaching your date with the idea and setting those second-date plans in stone.
#5: Try to Text Them Once a Day
If you are in a situation where you are unsure of how your date feels about you, you can slowly build the relationship and keep an open line of communication by sending them one text a day after your first date. By doing this, you are not coming off as desperate or annoying. In fact, you can come across as really caring but laid-back by asking how they are each day. The key is to not bombard them with messages.
Try texting once a day and see where things go from there! If there is not a whole lot of interest, you should know pretty quickly. But it is always good to keep the communication lines open and try your hand at some relationship building as long as it is not annoying the other person or getting on their nerves.
#6: Don’t Respond Right Away With Every Text
While a quick text response here and there does not always come through as overly eager, responding right away all the time to every one of their texts might! It might appear like you are vigilantly waiting on them all day to text you or like you’re hanging on their every word. It’s just not a great look for you.
People like people of confidence. One way that you can look confident and assured of yourself is to leave some room between their texts to you and your responses. In some cases, a longer response time here and there can create some mystery and interest! Do not be inconsiderate and take hours and hours to respond to your date but leave enough room there to come across as cool and collected.
#7: If You Get Ghosted, Just Stop Texting
It is important to have good timing with your post-first date text messages and make sure there is good, quality content in what you are saying. However, it is equally valuable to know when to back off or cut your losses if you sense there is little to no interest in the relationship coming from your date.
As we talked about earlier, you will know fairly quickly if there is little interest or no chemistry between the two of you following the first date. One of the tell-tale signs is when your date is not getting back to your text messages. If you are sending messages and you are simply being ghosted, that is a good indicator that it’s time to stop texting them and move on to greener pastures.
#8: Watch Your Message Length
One thing you don’t want to do is get too out of hand with your message length. If you send your date texts with large paragraphs, you might come across as overly eager. Or you can come across as overly talkative or chatty and this might bore them. And it is an even worse look for you if their responses are short! It could mean that they are being polite but ultimately not interested in what you have to say.