How to Know if You’ve Found the One When You’re Dating a Christian

Christian couple

There is nothing like adding a bit of pressure to something that was already pretty stressful, to begin with. 

Dating has never been easy, no matter who you are or where you come from. Some people hate the idea of dating more than almost anything in the world and we can understand why. It’s stressful to feel as though you have to find someone who will both complete and compliment you. It can also be difficult to live in a society that puts more pressure than they need on singles to find their person and finish their search for love. 

But when you’re a Christian and trying to approach the idea of dating in a secular world while still holding to your beliefs and convictions, you will often feel like you’re the odd one out. Not to mention, there is a different kind of pressure that follows them around and often dictates their steps when they’re dating a Christian. 

The way dating a Christian is approached and how they handle their calling to live in a relationship with one another is completely counter-cultural to the way that the secular world approaches dating today. 

Most Christians date with the intention of marriage. This means that, while everyone is running around and trying to find someone who they like enough to spend a night with or go out on a few dates with, Christians are trying to find someone who they could see themselves living the rest of their lives with. 

This adds an astronomical amount of pressure to young Christians who are just trying to explore the world of love and it causes them to often feel disheartened when a relationship falls through or they can’t seem to make something stick.

But the way that Christians approach meaningful dating is also a beautiful way of approaching love. The way that they go about courtship and romance is somewhat like a lost art that not many people are familiar with anymore. It also solidifies the fact that, in general, Christians care about being intentional with their love and they want to act out of love and respect for the people in their lives. 

While there are some Christians who go on dates or have a few casual relationships while they’re beginning their journey of learning who they want to date and what they want to glean out of their romantic lives, the majority of Christians want to find their person and settle down with them as quickly and easily as possible. 

But all of this begs the question, how do you know when you’ve found the one? If Christians are so particular about who they date and badly want to find their person as quickly and easily when they’re on a dating site or looking for love, how will they know when their search is over and they can finally settle down?

Today, we want to give you a bit of advice and encouragement if you’re a Christian who has been looking for the one and you’re not sure if you’ve found them or not. 

If you’ve been stressed out on your journey to find love and you’re not sure if you’re ever going to find success, or when you do, what that success is going to look like, we’re here to help you. 

Dating a Christian and Finding the One

There is something so beautiful about the way a Christian approaches dating in the modern world and the intention and prayer that goes into their decisions when they’re trying to assess whether or not they should start dating someone. 

There’s something that feels much more real and meaningful when you’re in a Christian relationship and it’s one of the best feelings in the world. 

When you’re a Christian, you don’t want to waste your time dating someone you know isn’t good for you and won’t help you in your relationship with Jesus. Instead, you want to find your person as quickly as possible and settle down with them. 

The idea of approaching dating while keeping the intention of marriage at the forefront of your mind is in direct obedience to how God tells His followers that they ought to live and it also solidifies the fact that we ought to date with intention, integrity, and respect with one to one another, and we ought to date as though we’re going to marry someone. 

And while this does put some pressure on Christians, who are trying to figure out what they want out of life and out of their relationships, it is a beautiful way of approaching dating, because it emphasizes the importance of relationships to a Christian and it allows Christians to understand that the people into whom they invest their time and energy ought to be the people who are going to last for a long time in their lives and who are going to stick with them throughout it all. 

Although the way that Christians approach dating might not be the most common or ‘normal’ way that people in today’s fast-paced dating environment approach dating, we believe that it’s one of the best and healthiest ways that anyone can begin their search for love. 

If you’re on the fence about whether or not you should get into a relationship with someone, or you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a bit and you’re not sure if they’re the one for you or if you should keep looking, we’re here to help you. 

We know all too well how difficult it can be to try to find someone that you like when you’re online dating, not to mention the added pressure of finding someone who you believe you’ll be able to get along with and love and cherish for the rest of your life. We’re here if you’ve been overwhelmed and weighed down when you’ve tried to approach that subject. 

While, at the end of the day, we cannot make the decision for you or tell you whether or not a person is the one for you, we do want to give you a bit of guidance as you go about your journey to find the one. 

Here are a few ways that you’ll know if the person you’re dating is the one. 


If You Feel Peace About Them

The idea of feeling peace about the relationship that you’re entering into or that you’ve been in is often overlooked when people talk about the things that you should feel as you’re in a relationship. That being said, having a feeling of peace and feeling contentment and at ease when you’re thinking about your relationship is one of the most integral ways that you can know whether or not your relationship is on solid ground and if you’ve found the one. 

When a Christian is in a relationship with the right person, they will feel an outstanding amount of peace. We worship the God of peace, and He grants His followers peace that passes all understanding when we are walking in the way, the truth, and light. 

There is truly nothing as wonderful as knowing that you’re on the right path when you’re approaching some of the trials that come up in this world. 

feel peace

Experiencing a peace that can online be described as supernatural is one of the ways that God can communicate with His people as they are navigating a broken and sin-filled world. 

If you have felt unrest about your relationship, or if it has given you a bit of concern as you’re thinking about the long-term plans you and your partner have, or whatever might be blocking your path to success when you are thinking about your relationship, you might need to start reassessing it and wondering whether or not that check in your spirit is a check from God or if you’re just not as on board as you ought to be. 

While both of these instances might be a red flag, if God isn’t providing you with peace when you are reflecting on your relationship, you might want to leave it sooner rather than later. 

God wants nothing but good for His followers and His people and He will guide them back to the truth and the light when they stray, they need only to be still and listen to Him. 

When you’re in a relationship with someone that God has designed for you and that God has set apart for you, you will feel an outstanding amount of peace. 

People have always said that when you know you know, and that is nonetheless true when you’re in a relationship with someone who is completely right for you and who will cherish you and love you and be the person who God has intended for you to marry all along.

One of the best ways that you can know that you’ve found the one is when God gives you peace that surpasses all understanding. 


christian community

If Your Christian Community Likes Them

This is another element that people often overlook when trying to reason whether or not the person they’re dating or talking to is the right one for them. 

A lot of the time, people will share their horror stories about how they let their significant others meet their friends or the people that they live in a community with, and their friends addressed some of the problems or concerns they had about their significant others, but they continued to date them, and it was a mistake. 

We do not want you to make the same mistake as people in the past have done and we want to encourage you to let your partner meet your friends and the strong Christians that you have in your life. 

This is not only a wonderful way to check in with yourself and with others if you are unsure of whether or not the person that you’re dating is the one for you, but it’s also a great way to encourage community and be a part of an encouraging Christian community when you’re starting your relationship. 

Christianity is an extremely community-based religion. God calls His followers to live in community with each other so that they can lift each other, stand for each other, and help each other when one is going the wrong way. 

If you have a strong Christian community in your life, you need to ask for their advice when you’re dating someone. While you might not always like to hear what they say, or they might not always give the best advice constantly. If one of them has a check in their spirit about your significant other, you might want to pause and think about what that might mean. 

Although we just talked about how you are to have peace in your own heart when you’re dating someone, sometimes the devil can blind you to any of the checks that you might have had in your spirit when you’re thinking about dating someone. 

That’s one of the main reasons why God wants His followers to live in a community with each other and openly discuss important topics with each other, like who they ought to marry. 

Other people who might not be as close as the situation can share their wisdom and keep you in check when they say that you’re dating someone who is not going to be good for you in the long run. 

That being said, we are all human, and sometimes people don’t see the red flags until they are all too clear. But, for the most part, if your friends approve of them, and none of your friends have any red flags or concerns, you ought to be pretty good.


If You Prayed for Your Person and God Brought Them to You

This can be a bit of a slippery slope if you’re not careful when you’re approaching this topic, so don’t get too into your head about this or start to overthink this too much. 

You should be in constant communication with not only the people around you but also with God when you’re approaching something as serious as getting into a relationship with someone. 

Your relationship should be bathed in prayers, and it shouldn’t be a decision that you make on a whim to get into a relationship with someone. Instead, you need to be praying that God will bring you the right person for you at exactly the right time. 

prayed for your person

One of the toughest pills that Christians have to swallow when it comes to trusting God is that they need to put all of their trust and hope in their savior and not hold onto any of the doubts or concerns that might be plaguing their minds. When you pray to God about something, you need to be willing and able to hand it all over to Him and trust that He will do what is right and best for you. 

And this is an extremely important step that all Christians should take when they’re approaching their dating life. They should spend time reflecting on what kind of a person they want to date and eventually marry. They should also be able to give all of those wants and desires over to God and rest in the knowledge that their prayers are resting with the One who created the Universe and who can do immeasurably more than we have asked or imagined. 

There are many different ways that you can start praying for your future partner. You can ask God to show you what kind of a person you would be best suited for and let Him guide you on that.

You can also just start praying for your future spouse and pray that one day, you’ll meet them. Another way you can begin your journey of prayer for your future partner is to create a list of the attributes that you want your future spouse to have. Once you’ve created that list, you can pray about the list and pray that God brings you someone who fits into it.

While you don’t have to do that and if you’re on a dating site, you might not want to do that because it could limit the options that you can find. Once you’ve decided what attributes are important for you when you’re picking your future husband, it does a lot of good for your spirit and your love life to know that God brought you the exact right person.

If you can see a clear correlation between your prayer life, the person that you prayed for, and the person who is standing in front of you, then that should give you all of the answers that you need, and you should be able to feel peace about your decision and feel peace about the relationship that you’re entering into.


A Final Word of Encouragement

We know how daunting it might seem to get into a relationship with someone and hope for the best, in this case, hope they are the person that you want to marry. 

Christians are called to be in this world and not of it; because of that, they go about things differently. One of those things is the way that Christians approach dating and finding the love of their lives. 

While their approach might add a lot of pressure to their search and it might not be the most calming process, it shows a Christian’s heart and the beautiful intention inside them. 

We hope that you find success when you’re looking for the love of your life and that God directs your paths while you’re on your journey. 

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