Is He Truly Interested in You? Here’s How to Tell

Man in love with woman

We have all dated at one time or another, and some of those relationships ended quickly, while others dragged on for months or years. But they ended. Sometimes that makes you ask yourself, “was he ever truly interested in me at all?”

While online dating apps have become increasingly popular over the last decade, and apps like eHarmony and Match provide users with the opportunity to meet plenty of people, have you noticed that so many of them are simply settling?

People have become so busy that they settle for texting or video chatting all day and never connect IRL. This is what happened to my best friend. For four months, she and a guy she met online texted and chatted, and while they enjoyed their conversations, they never made a date to meet in person. 

Eventually, she tried, but he always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t meet. Around the fifth month mark, she realized she didn’t want to settle for this “relationship,” so she moved on. 

The good news is that we have the benefit of always remaining connected in today’s busy world. Previous generations did not have that same opportunity. The bad news is that this new age of “dating” doesn’t necessarily allow you to know their true feelings and interest in you (or lack thereof).

Online vs. In-Person

Online relationship

It’s not all bad news for online dating apps, however. A recent 2023 survey found that 54% believed online dating relationships were as successful as in-person relationships. 

Close behind, 41% believed online relationships were less successful, while 5% thought online dating relationships were more successful. 

In person relationship
Communicating online

However, the study also indicated that over half of the 54% who thought online dating was just as successful also missed the face-to-face interaction with their matches but still felt they could make it work. 

The Number One Way to Know If He’s Truly Interested

We could write a million articles discussing how to know if a guy is interested in you, but in the long run, only one thing matters.

He may send you a daily “good morning” text at the crack of dawn, a “good night” text every evening, send flowers to your job twice a week, have meaningful conversations every day, or give you blushingly beautiful compliments regularly. However, the truth is, none of this matters if he doesn’t put forth the effort to see you. 

A guy who is truly interested in you, regardless of how “busy” he is, will always find time to see you, no lies, excuses, or broken promises. This, of course, is assuming you live a reasonable distance from each other. 

In my friend’s situation, not only did she make the initial attempt to see him in person, she kept getting rejected until she decided to move on. If he likes you, he will make every effort to be together. 

Man texting in the morning to show he's truly interested

For example, he may work 72 hours a week, but he puts in the effort to have lunch with you for a half hour twice a week. Regardless of his life situation, he ensures you’re on his priority list. 

When a man meets a woman who captures their attention, sure, he’ll do all the texting and video chatting, but all that does is increase his desire to see her and spend quality time with her in person.

Man and woman on date

In other words, video calls and texting are the appetizers, and real-life interaction is the main course. 

The “appetizers” are there to supplement the “main course” or the relationship, not be the most significant part of it. 

While it’s true that some guys require a bit more of a push than others, you can help by suggesting hanging out in person. He’ll likely take the reins and be the one who makes the transition from chatting and texting to spending time together in person. 

Like in the example with my best friend, the longer he waits to make actual plans with you, the less interested he likely is. If he wants to be with you, he should ask what you’re doing on Saturday. Busy? How about Sunday brunch? And since we’re discussing it, what are you up to for the holidays?

The right guy truly interested in building a long-term relationship with you will invest time in making that happen. He will come to see you and invest his time and energy in having deep, meaningful conversations. Stop settling because you deserve a guy who does all this and more.

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