How to Know You’ve Fallen in Love with Your Best Friend

Man and Woman Holding Hands - Supportive Friend

You get along so well with your best friend. You’ve been through everything together, including previous relationships and the loss of family members. You are their ride-or-die, and you know everything about each other, so falling for them is common.

But how do you know your feelings are more than just platonic? If it is more than a feeling of appreciation for who they are, elevating your relationship can be tricky, so take a moment to think about the repercussions if you decide to let them know. After all, if it doesn’t work out, you don’t want to risk losing your best friend forever.

The Signs You May Be Falling in Love with Your Best Friend

The signs are often there. You usually don’t recognize them because you’ve been so close for a while. When you fall in love with your best friend, there’s so much at risk, like them not being in love with you, or if you do get into a romantic relationship, what happens when and if it goes south?

Ponder these questions before letting them know your true feelings, and be sure about how you feel. Here are the signs that tell you you’re falling in love with your best friend.

You Pay Close Attention to His Actions

You never watched his routine as he dressed to hang out, but now you notice every little detail. For example, you’re more conscious of how he brushes his hair or the type of cologne he uses. In addition, you now notice how he acts or reacts to certain situations.

Surprisingly, you’re discovering new quirks about him that you’ve never noticed, and now you find those eccentricities attractive.

He Takes Priorities over Your Other Friends

A few months ago, you never jumped at his call, but now you find yourself doing things for him that you don’t do for anyone else because, well, it’s him.

You think of him and buy him little gifts even though it’s not a holiday or his birthday. His happiness is your happiness. So you don’t mind going above and beyond to put a smile on his face.

How to Show Your Crush You like Him

Let’s face it: guys can be challenging to read, especially if they’ve been your friend for a while and you’re ready to tell them, “Hey, I think you’re hot!”

You’re navigating through uncharted waters, so introduce your feelings slowly with something like a coy smile or a flirtatious wink. Then, if they’re still completely unaware, try a few of these subtle ideas:

Look Him in the Eye

Direct eye contact is the perfect way to let him know you’re interested. This doesn’t mean creepily staring them down. It simply means that if he has something to say, focus on him and not on your phone. If you’re out, stop getting easily distracted by watching everyone who walks through the door. Instead, give him your full and undivided attention.

Additionally, show him you’re interested by engaging in a little flirtatious eye contact from across the room.

Ask For His Help

This sounds old-school, but men like feeling appreciated. You don’t have to go old-fashioned style by asking him to open up a pickle jar (although that works, too).

Instead, update the request by asking for his help in recommending an app. In other words, ask him something that makes him feel smart. He may catch on to your feelings if you were always the app-savvy one and now you’re asking for his help.

Stop Hiding in the Corner

Stop blending in with the paint while girls flirt with him. You may have done this before, but now things are different. Keep yourself in the conversation, whether in a group or one-on-one. Guys always notice if you’re lively and engaging or playing the invisible man in the corner.

Don’t Dress like His Male Best Friends

Back in the day, you may have worn sweats and a stained, torn sweatshirt. However, now you’re interested in him, so step up your game. I’m not talking about wearing a ball gown to hang out over his house; I’m saying leave the raggedy sweats and dirty tee-shirts for cleaning the bathroom. Instead, put on a timeless outfit, like a pair of stylish jeans, your favorite tee shirt, or anything you feel comfortable and sexy wearing.

He might not realize he’s on a date yet, but he’ll get the message soon.

Compliment Him

Tell him if he looks hot in his outfit. Don’t be afraid to show interest by dropping a few compliments here and there. Just be careful not to turn this into a weird “kudos for you!” moment by being hard-pressed to find things to like about him. Instead, let the moment come organically.

Clothing Choice

If he told you he likes how you look in an outfit, do your best to wear that outfit or a variation of the outfit. For example, he told you that a pair of jeans you have complements your figure nicely. So then, that’s what you should wear on your next outing.

If he tells you those earrings fit your style and personality perfectly, the next time you go out, wear those earrings. However, be careful not to “overwear” something he likes. The idea is to wear it once or twice and then sporadically afterward. Trust me, if he didn’t notice immediately, he will.

All of a Sudden, You Care about How You Look

He’s seen you with no make-up, before a shower, and with bedhead. Suddenly, it’s a thing if he sees you before an entire glam squad session.

Also, you’re constantly wearing his favorite color and that green nail polish he likes. You used to be comfortable hanging out with him looking like the before image. Now, you’re mortified if he sees you looking anything less than Beyonce-ish.

His Hugs Feel Different

When you used to hug him strictly as a buddy, it was nice but casual. Now his embrace is warmer, and you’d love for it to last longer. Additionally, when he used to touch you, it felt best friend-ish. Now, it’s different. His touch creates sexual tension no matter how much you try to avoid it.

He’s Become Your Personal Therapist

You used to spread your neurosis amongst all your friends, but now he’s the only one you prefer to talk to because you value his insight and opinion. He tolerates your tantrums and won’t hold them against you the following day.

When you feel your self-esteem dipping, he’s the one that picks you up. He encourages you to get out there and be your best self when all you feel like doing is hiding in bed.

Friends Laughing and Hugging

He reads every single word when you go on a rant via text. You trust him with your deepest secrets and know he’s got your back if you ever need him.

You’re Now Territorial When It Comes to Him

He used to tell you all about the girls he liked, and you had no issue with that. However, now you get jealous whenever he mentions a female that’s not you. Before, it never bothered you that girls used to flirt with him when you went out. Now, if a girl even looks at him, you’re ready to drag her outside by her hair.


if someone, male or female, negatively talks about him, you’re quick to jump to his defense because you know he’s a great guy.

Turning a Friendship into True Love

What does it mean to “fall in love?” Falling in love with a person happens when there are strong feelings and attraction to someone you care about. It’s easier to see these emotions in a new relationship.

However, it’s more difficult to realize these feelings in a friendship. Somedays, it might appear your best friend is in love with you, too. Other times, they act as though they’re simply the best friend they’ve always been.

If you’d like to explore more of a romantic relationship with your best friend and are unsure what to do next, here are a few tips to strengthen your friendship along with a possible burgeoning love.

  • Take your time and don’t rush the feelings. Often, people confuse love with a kind of deep caring and admiration because they are similar.
  • Wait to tell them. You might feel as though you want to share your feelings immediately. However, that’s usually a mistake, especially if you have not considered the consequences. This is why it’s vital to slow down.
  • Take your time and don’t rush the feelings. Often, people confuse love with a kind of deep caring and admiration because they are similar.
  • Wait to tell them. You might feel as though you want to share your feelings immediately. However, that’s usually a mistake, especially if you have not considered the consequences. This is why it’s vital to slow down.

What to Do if You’ve Fallen for Your Best Friend

We’ve all heard the saying, good friends are hard to come by. Anytime you find a genuine, life-long friend, you want to nourish that relationship and keep it going. The good news is, if you start to catch feelings for your bestie, it could end up in the ideal love affair.

Then, there’s what’s behind door number two.

Falling in love with a best friend is scary and exhilarating at the same time. If it doesn’t work out, you could lose it all; a best friend, a therapist, a confidant, your ride or die, it’s all gone. If this is a risk you’re willing to take, here are a few suggestions:

  • Consider His Relationship Status – He’s your best friend, so you know better than anyone if he has a girlfriend or a secret crush. Take note of their status before making a move. Did he recently get out of a relationship and confide in you that he’s not ready to take the plunge again? If so, this may not be the time to throw your hat into the ring as a contender.
  • Don’t Catch Him in a Vulnerable Situation – Is he involved in a messy situation that he feels confused about? Chances are he’s already confided in you about his dating circumstances, so try your best not to take advantage of that, especially if he’s going through a make-up, break-up phase with a current girlfriend. He’s already in an undefinable relationship, so admitting your feelings might make it worse.
  • Don’t Feel Any Guilt – Once you’ve established how you feel about him, don’t feel guilt or remorse. Falling in love with your best friend is common. You can’t control your feelings, so don’t feel bad for them.
  • Weigh the Pros and Cons – One of the hardest parts about being attracted to your BFF is the fear of losing their friendship. This makes it vital that you weigh your options. Understand that if this doesn’t work out how you’d like (and that’s a real possibility), going back to being friends may not be an option. You have two choices to consider. You can keep your feelings to yourself and continue the friendship like normal, or you can tell him. It’s that simple. Every relationship is different, so before you make that decision, grab a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons of the situation and then decide.
  • Make a Decision and Stick to It – Once you decide–tell or don’t tell–accept your choice and make a plan to carry it out. If you choose to tell, pick an appropriate time and place. In other words, don’t yell it out in the middle of a party. Unfortunately, he may not have the same feelings. If this is the case, try to move on while keeping your friendship intact. It may take time and a little work, but if the friendship is worth salvaging, you both will do the necessary work. If you decide to keep your secret, do that and move on. Don’t tell your friends or family because they will keep bringing it up, causing you to question your decision, which will torment you longer. Things may feel awkward in the beginning. Fortunately, after some time, you both will become involved in other romantic relationships, and your friendship will be as it once was.

Falling in love with a best friend can be exciting. However, before you make that leap, be sure it’s a romantic situation and not just the deep love and respect you have for all your friends. Whether or not you move forward can determine the future of your friendship. So, take time to think about all the benefits and drawbacks involved with dating your best friend. Good luck!

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