Most people think they’ve hit the jackpot if they date an ambitious person! When you sign up for a dating app like Elite Singles or Match, you’re not putting how lazy you are and how much you avoid work at all costs.
You want people to know you have goals and work daily to achieve them. Why? Because ambition is an admirable trait. It shows you have drive and initiative while demonstrating your independence.
However, dating a highly ambitious person also comes with pitfalls. For example, if you’re not prepared to be second to their career, this may not be the kind of relationship you’re looking for. But if you decide to proceed with a relationship with an ambitious person, here are a few tips you must understand to succeed:
Are You Ambitious?
There is a slight difference between men and women when it comes to calling themselves ambitious. In a recent study, men were overall more inclined to describe themselves as “very” or “extremely” ambitious than women. More women than men considered themselves “not so ambitious.”
Another reason included their career choice. Women who worked closely with men on the same level didn’t feel as confident as women who made other career choices.
In a recent poll, 67% of respondents in their 20s stated “lack of confidence” or “fear of failing” are two major reasons that prevent them from being more ambitious compared to 33% of women in their late 40s and 50s who felt that personal priorities are the reason they aren’t more ambitious.
Things You Should Know before Dating an Ambitious Person
It May Take Some Time before They Fully Commit.
It’s not because they’re not interested in committing or don’t care, but work and success are important to them. They’re more focused on things that come their way regarding achieving their goals, and any relationship will always be secondary.
Understand That They Will Be Swamped.
Will you likely plan an impromptu weekend getaway at a moment’s notice? Probably not. They also won’t be able to hang out with you every day or spend hours binging on a Netflix series. You may even have special events they can’t attend because of their hectic schedule.
It’s not that they don’t want to see you or don’t enjoy being with you. They do. But unfortunately, they have a lot of work to do to achieve their goals, and sitting around watching Bridgerton on Netflix won’t help. To them, time is money, so every minute counts.
If you’re the clingy type who demands a lot of your partner’s time, this isn’t the type of relationship for you.
They Are Lifetime Committers.
It may have taken a while for them to invest in the relationship entirely, but once they’ve decided to, they enjoy being with you you just as much as they do their work.
When an ambitious person commits, it’s because they “choose” to be with you, not because they don’t want to be lonely, but because they genuinely love hanging out with you.
If we’re honest, ambitious people have always been in a relationship with their careers. So when you come along, you have likely invited welcomed chaos that turned their world upside down, so much so that they don’t want to let you go.
They’re Never Satisfied with Their Achievements.
Once they’ve achieved a goal, they celebrate for a day or two, but then it’s right back to the drawing board and setting up a new one. To them, every target is a stepping stone on the way to their ultimate success. They’re always thinking about their next destination, their next dream, and their next pursuit.
Unfortunately, you may not understand this thinking and may feel they’re weird. You could also believe they’ll burn out in the next few years–which is entirely possible. But it would help if you understood that this is how they operate, and they can’t help being this way.
Understand That They’re Always in Their Head.
In the middle of a conversation, they’ll often zone out because they’re thinking about a problem at work. When they finally carve out some time to hang out, they’ll constantly check their emails for news regarding work.
Work tends to be embedded in a part of who they are, and often they can’t shut it off. Their talks about business ideas will probably annoy you, and they’ll likely whine about issues that occurred at work.
They don’t do it on purpose, but when they’re not at work and finally spending time with you, they can’t help confiding in you about everything that happens in their life, which is usually work-related.
Don’t Interrupt Them While They’re Working.
If you do, be prepared for a cold response. When ambitious people work, they focus. And when they focus, they zone out and don’t want to be disturbed by anything or anyone–including you. This is because if they stop what they’re doing to talk to you, they’ll break their concentration.
They Regularly Think about the Future.
Ambitious people visualize and dream about the future– a lot, thinking about the endless possibilities and the steps needed to make it happen. They think about the future and what they can achieve, and where they could someday be
Sometimes, it may feel like their disconnecting from the world, but for them, it’s a good way to keep their goals in sight. Don’t worry! When they consider the future, it doesn’t mean you’re not in it.
If they’ve decided to spend the rest of their life with you, they most definitely want to share all their current and figure successes with you.
They Need Your Support.
You may be under the assumption that an ambitious person needs nothing else but their work, but you’d be wrong. Sometimes, constantly climbing mountains can be lonely and tiring.
Often, they need nothing but a bit of support and understanding from their partners. But they’ll share everything with you when they have your backing and succeed.
They need a partner who understands that being able to use their skills and talents in the best way possible to succeed gives their life meaning. It lifts their self-esteem and is part of who they genuinely are. So, it’s crucial to have a partner who supports this.
The Amount of Time Spent on Their Work Has Nothing to Do With Their Feelings about You.
Ambitious people love it when their partners are independent because that gives them time to work toward their goals. They’d love it even more if their partners were ambitious and spent as much time working as they do.
When you understand that their work has nothing to do with how they feel about you and don’t sulk about it, they will appreciate you and devote themselves even more to you.
When They’re with You, They Are Completely with You.
Ambitious people rarely take time out of their busy lifestyles to just hang out, so when they do, it truly means something. They’re not with you because they’re bored, lonely, or out of convenience. When they’re with you, it’s because it’s what they want to do. Otherwise, they could be at work, striving to achieve their goals.
Ambition isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a character trait that can benefit you in the long run. However, if you feel like your partner is taking their ambition to the extreme, sit them down and let them know. After all, they can’t change what they don’t know.