Women spend plenty of time giving all the “ingredients” they need in a man but believe it or not, what they genuinely want in a guy is sometimes less clear.
We’ve all heard it before–women can be very complicated. While many guys have simple and direct needs when choosing an individual to fall in love with, for women, what they want is slightly more detailed.
Why is that? Because women have spent a lot of time throughout their lives pinpointing the character traits they desire in a guy.
Ladies, remember being young and navigating the dating world with a naive and fresh perspective? However, as the years passed, we started taking lessons from every one of our failed relationships.
With your girlfriends, typically, you identify what’s good and what’s not-so-good, what you desire in a future relationship, and how to achieve it.
You make lists, and with them in hand, you search for the perfect guy. The problem is that no one is perfect. But, that said, you adjust as needed and instead look for the right guy for you.
20 Character Traits that Women Find Attractive
So guys, what is it that makes you look like Mr. Right. It most often comes down to a certain number of character traits a person displays. Well, instead of trying to figure out what those character traits are, we’ve made it easy for you. Here is a list of 20 character traits that women find attractive.
If you are someone who understands who you are and your place in this world, you don’t need someone else to complete them.
If you want her to fall head over heels for you, you must be independent and have your stuff together! No one wants a person who clings to them 24/7 or who has their identity wrapped up in their partner instead of themselves.
So, how do you do this? First off, stop being at your partner’s every beck and call. While being reliable is a good trait to have, you don’t want to drop everything as soon as your partner calls.
Don’t mistake this trait for “gold diggers” searching for rich guys. They have online dating sites for that. If that’s your preference, that’s fine. But women don’t need their men to be big-time wealthy, although it is a nice bonus.
Women are looking for someone who understands the importance of properly managing their finances. Someone with a steady job who can work with their partner to help take care of their wants and needs adds value to the relationship.
Women are looking for someone they’re confident in and know will never rely on them for their financial needs and desires. They want to feel financially secure, and having a guy who makes this happen is a definite plus in any relationship.
Women prefer to process their emotions. They enjoy dissecting the good and bad of their relationships. They want to be able to talk to their partners about how they feel without them attempting to “fix” them. They’re looking for someone who can, in turn, communicate and process emotions productively.
Looks only go so far, and eventually, they fade. When that happens, women need something more than surface traits to keep them interested in their partners. They want to talk to their partner on a deeper level. To do this, they both must have emotional maturity.
And by flexible, we mean not stubborn. Someone willing to see the other side and step into someone else’s shoes shows empathy. He should be ready to view and do things differently sometimes.
Someone you can fall in love with doesn’t insist you do things a particular way. Often, partners like this don’t change, so if you’re always ready to give in and do things their way, this guy is not for you.
For example, he likes to stay in with a pizza every Friday. You want to go to a concert this Friday, but he’s unwilling. When two people are in a healthy relationship, they must work together to build a life they both want.
Not Hung Up on Their Ex
Have you ever had a first date and listened to them somehow work their ex into every conversation?
You: I’ve been to Greece. It was wonderful.
Your Date: I was there once with my ex, and she complained about everything.
You: I love dogs!
Your Date: My ex had a Doberman who hated me.
Sometimes he may be talking about the good things they did together. Other times, he’s referring to how crazy she was. Maybe he discusses how devastated he was when she walked out on him. No matter the conversation, he will find a way to make it about his ex.
Sense of Humor
If you check online dating sites like Zoosk and eHarmony, you’ll see that there isn’t a profile out there that doesn’t say someone is searching for a partner with a sense of humor. But what does that mean exactly? Are they looking for someone doing stand-up comedy or working as a clown for kid’s parties?
A woman desires someone who can tickle her funny bone and make her laugh, and if that’s a comedian or a clown, then so be it. She wants someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously and can laugh at themselves when they do something idiotic. Someone who can go along with a situation even if they aren’t comfortable, who finds humor even when circumstances go wrong.
Unless you’re a professional, someone who makes knock-knock jokes isn’t necessarily what we mean. It will take a truly special joke to make a woman laugh, so don’t bother putting one in your message when you reach out on your favorite dating site.
Having Done the Work
One of the most challenging things to do in the world is to determine what type of issues you struggle with in your life. Unfortunately, once you identify those issues, taking the necessary steps to fix them can be even more difficult.
Maybe you’re still dealing with baggage from your past relationship. Perhaps you had a difficult relationship with your mom. Maybe you struggle with anxiety and insecurity.
Whatever your issues are, a woman prefers a guy who has identified them and done the necessary work to fix them. They don’t need to be completely resolved because are we ever truly fixed? However, being able to recognize their issues and take steps is essential.
Up for an Adventure
Nothing is more unattractive than a man who wants to sit around the house all day and play video games or watch TikTok. (It’s shocking how many guys do this.)
Of course, this is fine on a rainy day, but women want a guy who is eager to leave the house every once in a while and try new things with them.
This doesn’t mean they need to jump out of an airplane or go bungee jumping off a cliff (although it could). It means stepping outside your normal activities and doing something adventurous. This could entail hiking on a new trail or checking out the opening of a new museum. Maybe take a staycation to someplace new.
No one enjoys boredom, so if you’re up for an exciting adventure, you have one of the main ingredients she needs to fall in love.
Not Dependent on Chemicals
This is a big want, and for that matter, need! Women are searching for a guy who doesn’t need to rely on drugs and alcohol to get through their daily life.
Of course, recreational use is okay, but if you’re relying on mind-altering drugs of any kind, women just aren’t that interested unless they’re reliant on drugs, too.
Women are attracted to guys with goals and ambitions. When you have an ambitious man, it makes a woman feel safe and, often, financially secure. They understand that their partner knows what they want, and they’ll do what’s necessary to get it. That person makes them feel safe, an essential ingredient to falling in love.
When we say living independently, we mean not living under your parent’s roof. Women are looking for someone who has moved out o the house, set up their own spot (roommates okay), and can take care of their everyday wants and needs.
If you want a woman to fall in love with you, get out of your parent’s house and prove that you’re financially secure enough to support yourself. Otherwise, she’ll see you as nothing more than an irresponsible mooch.
Attraction to Each Other
Of course, having a spark in your relationship is important. It is just one essential ingredient in all relationships and is a dealbreaker if you don’t have it.
But that spark must be mutual. Otherwise, it’s more like a crush or unrequited love rather than a relationship. This kind of connection almost always leaves one partner feeling like they’re doing all the work and can lead to resentment and harsh feelings.
Divorced and Not Separated
Perhaps you are newly separated and can’t wait to get back out there and begin dating again. Maybe you’re lonely and looking for someone to hang out with.
That’s fine. We get that–but, honestly, you will not be ready to get into a long-term relationship until you have signed on the dotted line of the divorce papers.
Unfortunately, separation doesn’t make you a viable contender for a woman searching for true love. Women don’t want to emotionally (or financially) support their new partner, especially one in the midst of an emotional circumstance like a divorce. She wants someone who can focus on her, their connection, and their future together.
This is a case of “Why buy the car without giving it a test drive?” After all, we should know how the car drives before committing to it.
Couples want to know they can have a mutually satisfying sexual relationship before falling in love with one another. For example, you can meet a guy that looks great on paper and has all the qualifications you’re looking for. However, when you have sex, you have no compatibility whatsoever. Is that a dealbreaker for you?
A Good Relationship with their Extended Family
Having a healthy relationship with a partner’s family is a key ingredient that many people, particularly younger people, don’t recognize. Your partner should have a good relationship with their extended family.
Often, women search for a guy whose kids are speaking to them and who doesn’t have plenty of baggage surrounding their relationship with their parents. Women want someone who gets along with their siblings and respects them as they love and respect him.
When someone doesn’t have these traits, it pinpoints some behaviors that can be sad and destructive, and quite frankly, it’s just not that appealing.
Mutual Political Affiliations
Similar political views weren’t so important a few years ago, but now they’re an essential ingredient for women to fall in love with their partners. Unfortunately, political incompatibility can turn into serious mistrust and dysfunction in your relationship.
If your boyfriend stands strong on his views on the right to life and you stand firm with an opposing view, the relationship can suffer. It can seem manageable now, but over the long term, it can eventually rip your relationship apart.
This may seem obvious, but you would probably be surprised at how many couples try to get into a relationship with each other despite having opposite interests.
Of course, opposites attract, but that’s only attractive at the beginning of a relationship. However, as time passes, having someone who doesn’t share in the things you’re interested in and that make you happy is someone with whom it’s challenging to live happily ever after.
Mutual Screen Time
In this time of binge-watching, having an individual who likes to watch the same television programs you do is essential.
Of course, you don’t need to love every show your partner does. You shouldn’t force him to watch “The Bachelor” any more than he should push you to watch World War II history documentaries. However, you should find shows you enjoy watching together from time to time.
Similarly, healthy couples consume social media in the same manner. If one person is on their phone all day and the other isn’t and doesn’t like to be, you may have some conflicts.
No Allergies to Pets
Women love their pets because they’re loyal and always there for them. They show them love, and they never let them down. Unfortunately, if a potential partner has pet allergies, it’s one strike against them.
We get that you can’t control your allergies, but this is something that women consider before falling head over heels in love.
A Guy Who Unconditionally Loves Them
This is the number one character trait that women need to fall in love–a guy who is truly, madly, and deeply in love with them and who knows their love language. Women want a guy who is committed to them and regularly expresses their love.
Someone who tells women they love them shows affection with not only tangible items like flowers but also by demonstrating their love through support and respect. Someone who makes a woman feel adored and safe every day is a person they could fall in love with. Guys, if you love her, show her and tell her regularly. When you do, she’ll fall in love with you!
Every woman is different. Some don’t require every character trait on this list, but if you’re aware of what they’re looking for, you’ll find the key to success at capturing their hearts and getting them to fall in love with you. So, take note and work to make adjustments as needed. Good luck!