In order to catch the attention of the right man, women need to develop online dating profiles that men will find appealing. There is the usual practice of setting up a good profile bio or a write-up that clearly states what you are looking for in the online dating experience. And of course, you will want to include some of your best pictures!
But even more important than getting the dating profile set up, you will want to strongly consider the way everything is presented. While you want to stay true to who you are, you still need to generate enough interest for guys to click on your profile. We took the time to talk with some guys and find out from them what some of their biggest deal-breakers were when it came to viewing a woman’s online dating profile for the first time.
Here are some of the most common deal-breakers that men expressed to us. Avoid these missteps and get men interested in your online dating profile!
#1: She Describes Herself as “High Maintenance”
We have found that this is becoming more and more of a red flag for guys who are looking for women on their favorite dating apps. A “high-maintenance” woman is generally perceived as one who has a taste for the finer things in life and can, therefore, be quite expensive to please. There are a lot of guys out there who want to date beautiful women but might not have the financial means to keep up.
It can become more of a chore being with them than it is a relationship that is a two-way street with giving and taking. A lot of guys perceive the “high-maintenance” woman as someone who is not relatable, is self-centered, and is looking to be served over anything else. There is also the connotation that she is materialistic.
#2: She “Hates Drama”
In talking with men about instant deal-breakers with dating profiles, many of them pointed to women who stated, “I hate drama” or “I don’t want any drama.” Many of the guys we talked to shared experiences where the woman’s desire for no drama in the relationship either meant:
- They did not want to deal with anyone else’s problems and were somewhat emotionally detached.
- Or that they actually cause a lot of drama themselves and then projected it on others.
There were a lot of guys we talked to who felt that this phenomenon plays into the laws of attraction. People who pay lip service to wanting no drama are, in fact, the ones who have a habit of attracting drama into their lives. Overall, we highly recommend you stray away from the “no drama” disclaimer. It seems to be universally disdained by most men.
#3: Her Dating Profile is Boring
“I love having fun. I love hanging out with my friends and family when I’m not at work. I love listening to music or reading a good book in my spare time.”
There are a TON of online dating profiles out there that are just like this! And they all have one thing in common: they are BORING. Who doesn’t like to have fun? Have you ever met anyone who didn’t like music? And who doesn’t enjoy spending time with family or friends? Well, we might make an exception on the family part.
The point is that these are things that SO MANY people have in common. It really does not say too much about what makes you unique or sets you apart from others. What you will want to do is get much more specific about what it is that you like and the things that make you who you are.
You might want to rewrite that portion to something like this: “I work in ad sales, and I love it! If I’m not at happy hour with my co-workers when the day is done, you will find me over at my best friend’s house blasting BTS and any other K-Pop album you could imagine! In my quieter, introspective times, you will find me curled somewhere reading something by Janice Hallett.”
#4: She Lists Her Deal-Breakers Instead of What She Wants
This deal-breaker is an interesting concept, and it has to do with the way the woman presents what she is looking for in a partner. There are basically two different ways to do this. The instance that guys prefer is when the woman states what she wants and does so with a positive spin on the language. The side that we found was a real turn-off for guys was when the woman essentially goes through all the things she doesn’t want in a partner and does so in a negative, bitter fashion.
For example, guys were much more receptive to something like “I’m not a drinker, and I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who sees things the same way.” The other side of this would be a profile that says, “No drunks! No alcoholics! No addicts!”
Men found the first phrasing to be much more positive. They said that the tone sounded less negative and judgmental. The softer tone made the woman sound way more approachable. And even more importantly, the first phrasing actually says something about who they are and what they prefer!
The latter phrasing just makes the woman sound bitter. Essentially, what this boils down to, ironically enough, is that the woman’s list of “deal-breakers” is going to be a big deal-breaker for the man that is viewing her profile!
#5: Her Choice in Profile Pictures
We found that a lot of guys will pass up on a woman’s dating profile if all they see are a bunch of pictures and no information included in their actual profile. Many guys felt that this was a sign the woman didn’t feel it was worth the time to describe what she is like on the inside. Others pointed to the fact that it could be someone catfishing and looking to bait another user with enticing photos. A blank information section and only photos were a big red flag and an instant deal-breaker for a lot of the guys we interviewed.
There was also a lot of discussion about the woman’s choice of pictures. If she posts only pictures of her face, is that a sign that she is hiding something about her body? There were also guys who said one of their big deal-breakers was the woman who constantly post glamour shots and sexy photos. Some talked about women who post a lot of pictures with their friends, and then they are tasked with trying to figure out which woman in the photo is the one whose profile they are viewing.
It seems that you can read a lot from the pictures on a woman’s dating profile! Guys were also not big on the overuse of filters or women who had no pictures where they were smiling. And don’t get us started on how men felt about women who do the duck-face pose!
#6: She Lies About Her Age
We found that there were a lot of men who would begin talking with a woman online only to find out that they lied about their age and are either much younger or much older than originally stated. Many guys thought that this move came off as a bit insecure or that the woman was trying to hide some deep, dark secret.
It did not seem so much that guys had a huge problem with dating someone younger or older, but it was more about the issue of honesty and being upfront with people. A lot of guys we talked to are not into the idea of playing games when they meet people on dating apps!
#7: She Comes Across as Too Emotionally Needy
There are certain things that women can post in their profile information or share with men online that can come across as melodramatic or emotionally needy, and it will scare away potential partners. A lot of guys we talked to mentioned that they hate it when a woman references an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend and how they were done wrong, all right in their profile information of all places! There is definitely a time and place for those conversations, but when it is brought up early on, it causes a lot of men to lose interest and want to move on.
Guys also mentioned to us women who are overly dramatic when it came to the messaging in their profiles. We are talking about things along the lines of “I’ve been hurt in the past, but I’m ready to move on!” or “I’ve spent so much time taking care of my kids, and now it’s my time!” A lot of guys felt that this made the woman come across as too negative, like they view life as the glass half empty.
#8: She Overuses Emojis and Has Bad Grammar
Our research showed that the bad grammar bit was something that was more important to women than it was for men. But there are still plenty of guys out there who like women who can string together a coherent sentence! Many guys told us about how much it irked them when someone could not correctly use “their,” “they’re,” and “there” in a sentence. A lot of men felt that bad grammar made the woman come across as less intelligent and lacking in self-awareness of how they come off.
And then there is the excessive use of emojis. There is some research we found out there that says the overuse of emojis can actually up women’s chances of success with men, but a lot of the men we talked to voiced that overdoing the emojis was a major turn-off or deal-breaker for them. There was just something about it, they said, that got under their skin. They felt it could be an indicator of over-eagerness or the signs of a mercurial personality.
#9: She Says You Need to Be OK With Her Sarcasm
This one was kind of interesting. Most guys, by and large, don’t mind it when women are sarcastic. Most people do have a sarcastic bone in their body and use sarcasm in their everyday life or from time to time. But we found that many guys see a red flag when a woman makes special mention of the fact that she is sarcastic in her dating profile.
Many of the men we talked to spoke of experiences where the woman used “sarcasm” as an excuse to speak to them in any way they pleased, leading to some verbally abusive situations.
We also talked with men who said that when they met up with overly sarcastic women that they had trouble distinguishing between the things they were supposed to be saying in sincerity versus what they were supposed to be speaking in a sarcastic tone.
They told us that based on these experiences, anytime they found a dating profile where the woman makes special mention of their love for using sarcasm that they keep moving on in their search.
The way that you present your online dating profile could be the make or break between having a man message you or him completely skipping over your profile and moving on to someone else. It is definitely essential to be yourself and be honest, but you will also want to present yourself in the most appealing way possible.
Avoid some of these common mistakes and missteps when you put together your profile and watch men become increasingly interested in sending you messages!