8 Things You Should Never Do on Your First Date

Man and woman on a first date

Dating in the modern world is similar to playing a game. Challenging and anxiety-ridden, with everyone aspiring to take home the grand prize. Sadly, the dating game doesn’t always transpire as we hope, with many of us left floundering and holding the bill. Sometimes it’s because there’s just no chemistry, no shared values, or even no attractiveness, and other times, we start acting in ways that will damage the connection immediately. 

Luckily, by learning the dating no-nos, you can avoid ruining your first date with the man or woman you have been eager to take out. Our article has made it easy for you to date your romantic interest successfully. We have done this by sharing eight things you should never do when meeting a potential partner while on a date for the first time.

What Are the 8 Things You Should Never Do on Your First Date?

For many people, dating is undoubtedly one of the most challenging parts of life. After all, not all of us are supremely lucky enough to meet our soulmate in high school or college. 

Should you be one of the many people who have to go out and seek out a potential partner, you likely know how much harder it can be. That’s why when you find someone you like enough to want to date, you need to do everything you can not to mess up the opportunity. 

Fortunately, you don’t have to break out in anxiety-induced cold sweat, nor do you have to sign up for a dating class. You simply need to learn the things you shouldn’t ever do on a first date. With the tips we have shared below, you’re likely to secure a second date while impressing the person you’re interested in developing a relationship with. 

1. Don’t Be Disrespectful, Rude, or Insensitive

No one likes people who are disrespectful, rude, or insensitive, so what makes you think your date will? If you’re taking someone out on a romantic date for the first time, you must avoid these three qualities at all costs! Instead of showcasing yourself as immediately unlikable on a first date, you should be polite, amiable, kind, and considerate of your date’s needs. 

Additionally, your date will be watching how you conduct yourself around others. Your behavior towards others reveals a great deal about you. 

For instance, some individuals are nasty to the chauffeur, restaurant personnel, and other employees, which showcases that they could have narcissistic tendencies or think themselves better than others. When a date sees this, they could be immediately turned off, leading to the swift downfall of what could have been a magical relationship. 

Essentially, you must put your best foot forward and treat those around you with respect and kindness. This behavior makes you a better human being and shows your date you’re worthy of their time. 

2. Don’t Arrive Late

If you know you have a date planned, you should automatically set aside additional time to arrive punctually. Most people cannot stand tardiness and see it as a red flag when meeting someone romantically for the first time. 

Being late shows that you presumably don’t care about anything or anyone but yourself and value your time more than others. There are no second opportunities to make a good impression, so it’s best to arrive on time.

Luckily, you can often control if you’re late or not. All you need to do to ensure you’re not late to a first date is to meticulously plan your day so that you arrive at the designated meeting place before your date does. 

Every person wants to feel valued, and being on time is a big statement that you respect their time, are eager to see them, and are dedicated to properly getting to know them.

3. Avoid Being On Your Phone

An in-person date allows for more in-depth communication, which helps you learn more about the other person, but you cannot do this if you’re always on your phone. Not only is this considered rude, but it also ruins your chances of getting to know someone properly while you have the opportunity to do so in a casual (or formal) setting. 

Sadly, many individuals sabotage the first date by spending too much time on their phones, leading to many failed dates and ruining potential relationships. Ultimately, using your phone, talking on the phone, browsing Instagram, and answering phone calls can make your date go horribly wrong, so don’t do it and have some self-control.

Think about it this way; your date planned their schedule so they could meet with you, so being on your phone and ignoring the effort they put into meeting with you is incredibly inconsiderate and hurtful. They won’t be reaching out to meet up again if you have made them feel like your phone is more important than a conversation with them. 

woman texting on phone during coffee date

So, switch your phone to silent. Give them your full attention, and they will reciprocate.

4. Don’t Show Them You’re Not Listening or Are Inattentive

The inability to listen well on first dates is yet another turn-off. That’s why you should practice listening skills before going on an initial date with someone you’re eager to see. This is particularly true if you are aware that you quickly become sidetracked when interacting with someone. 

Since your date wants to be sure you’re paying attention and you want to make the best first impression to secure a second date, you need to show them that you’re listening and attentive. If you show them the opposite, there’s a good chance they won’t stick around until the end of the first date. 

You should pay attention to your date the same way you wish to be paid attention to. Your concentration, attentiveness, and good listening skills will show them that you are in the moment and paying attention to everything they say. 

Yet, listening is only half of what you need to do. For a first date to truly be successful, you need to engage in the conversation by asking questions. This means you should ask them about their lives and aspirations while also inquiring about anything you don’t grasp. Additionally, should they say anything meaningful, ask them to repeat it, as this shows you are making an effort and are interested in what they want to share with you.

5. Don’t Bring Up Your Past Relationships

Some topics are no-go’s on your first date, and talking about your exes is one of them. The nature of your discussion when out on your first date is crucial because you must be true to yourself while respecting your date. 

Just as you don’t want to hear about their past romantic relationships, they might not want to hear about the last person you were in love with or slept with. However, when they ask you direct questions about your ex, and you’re not uncomfortable answering them, that’s the only time you can bring up your past relationships. 

Additionally, you must refrain from comparing your date to your last partner during the conversation. This is because comparisons are damaging and an immediate turn-off for most men and women. 

For example, your date will not want a second meeting with you if you tell them that their laugh reminds you of a past partner who cheated on you. Likewise, they won’t want to hear about an ex that you were deeply in love with, so avoiding talking about exes is possible. 

If you need to bring up your ex, try switching the subject and concentrating on getting to know the other person. Your past connections are no longer a component of your current reality; let them go and focus on the situation in front of you. If you cannot do this, you’re unlikely to find love and might not be ready to date again just yet. 

6. Don’t Be Disheveled

First impressions matter, so you must ensure you’re looking your best. If you have the time, consider spending it on getting your face and attire ready. You don’t need to change your whole appearance, but a tidy shave or eyebrow shaping session and a new hairstyle and clothing item can go a long way in impressing your romantic interest. 

Suppose you really want to get noticed. In that case, you should try a new intoxicating aftershave or perfume, as it’s been proven that scent matters when someone is looking for a new romantic partner. 

Ultimately, you need to ensure you aren’t disheveled because you need to consider every first date a memorable occasion since you never truly know who you might meet and later on marry. Moreover, ensuring you have a well-kept appearance will not only perk you up but also boost your confidence and self-esteem. 

Disheveled woman with blank stare

7. Don’t Offer Unsolicited Advice

It’s natural to have an opinion, but not everyone wants to hear yours, including your date. You should refrain from offering unsolicited advice during your first date because you could hurt feelings or upset your company enough that they leave. 

Additionally, unwanted criticism and recommendations for what they should do or how they should act when you barely know your date shows that you have an inflated ego. This is a red flag for many people, and most won’t offer you a second date if you keep pushing your ideals onto them. 

Moreover, if the topic of work comes up, you must avoid offering stress management advice. People tend to be touchy about their careers, so it’s never a good idea to provide a strong opinion on this topic. It could put your date on the offensive, which is somewhere you don’t want them to be if you want a second date. 

However, you can provide your opinions if they ask but remember to express empathy and care, as you really don’t want to come across as heartless, aloof, cold, or disinterested. 

8. Don’t Get Too Touchy-Feely

Physical advances on a first date can be disastrous if you don’t read your date correctly. That’s why avoiding becoming overly physical with your date is usually best. This means you must be mindful of unneeded body movements and unwanted touching. 

For example, you can shake their hand when you first meet them and deliver a hug if they appear to be leaning in to give you one. Yet, you should avoid touching their neck, hair, or another area of their body when close to them unless they are trying to get closer to you.

If you two have spoken for some time and are familiar with one another, let them take the initiative while always acting respectfully and following their lead.

You will also need to abide by new societal cues surrounding physical contact at a time when individuals (primarily women) demand consent for all forms of physical contact. This could be challenging, so it’s best to speak with a few female friends or family members to learn what touches are deemed first date appropriate. 

The best approach is minimizing touching while being courteous, kind, and pleasant during your first date. It may seem “Old-fashioned,” but treating your date with the appropriate respect is the ideal approach to getting you a second date.

Final Thoughts

First dates often cause anxiety, trepidation, and excitement. It’s common to have apprehension when meeting new people, especially if we believe they may play an essential role in our life. 

Unfortunately, some of us can let our emotions get the best of us, and this can cause us to say or act in ways that we usually wouldn’t. These adverse actions can result in an axing of a second date.

Fortunately, if you follow our tips and avoid these eight things you should never do on a first date, you’re far more likely to have a successful encounter with a person you’re interested in. So, take these tips to heart while remaining true to yourself, and you might just get that second date you’re craving. 

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