5 Best Online Dating Tips for Introverts

Introvert using dating site

If you’re an introvert, you might cringe at the thought of dating. 

Not that you don’t want to date, or even that you’re not looking forward to finding your person. But the idea of going out on multiple dates, talking to an endless stream of people who aren’t going to be worth your time at the end of the day, and constantly getting shoved outside of your comfort zone just to be disappointed after the date is over is probably akin to the thought of pulling out nails for you. 

Thankfully, there is a solution to your dating woes, and it comes in the form of dating sites. 

We’re not telling you anything new by suggesting that an introvert try dating sites. It sometimes feels as though dating sites were specifically created for introverts as a way to date without leaving their homes. 

Online Dating Tips for Introverts

Dating sites are new vehicles to get people to date and talk with each other in new and slightly easier ways. Just because you’re comfortable in your own home and not actually meeting the people to whom you’re talking in person doesn’t mean that dating sites are an ideal way of meeting people. 

Here are a few expert tips for how to master the art of online dating as an introvert.

1. Know What You Want

The first step to avoid getting overwhelmed when you’re on a dating site is to know what you’re looking for when you join the site. If you’re joining a dating site without any direction, you’re just going to end up confused, and you’re not going to find success. 

Instead of going into your dating site journey blindly, think about and reflect on what kind of relationship you want. That way, you’ll be able to look for love more intentionally, and you won’t get as overwhelmed with all of the options and potential directions that your dating life can go in when you’re on the site.

And the more you know what you want, the more you can narrow down your filters, and you’ll then be presented with fewer options online, which might be precisely what you want. 

2. Set Small Goals

Another way to avoid getting overwhelmed when you’re on a dating site is to set small goals for yourself. You don’t need to log into your dating site and tell yourself that you need to find a match by the end of the day. This isn’t your full-time job; it should be fun!

Instead of setting lofty and somewhat unobtainable goals when you’re approaching online dating, set goals that may still be a challenge for you. Still, they will be easy enough that you won’t want to turn away and run for the hills before you’ve gotten started with online dating. 

Some examples of small goals could be that you swipe on potential matches for ten minutes a day. Another choice could be to message at least three people a week and try to have an intentional conversation with them.

As you continue online dating, your goals get bigger and scarier. Still, you’ll also realize that the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the process not only feel manageable now, but they’ve also been achieved multiple times. 

Setting goals in your online dating journey will also help you grow and become more comfortable talking and connecting with people. 

3. Set Boundaries

As we said above, dating sites are some of the best places to set boundaries. You can choose your limits by assessing what will make you the most comfortable while online dating. 

Consider setting a boundary for who you talk to. One of your boundaries might be that you’re only online for a certain amount of time a day. If the conversation gets uncomfortable or you’re not feeling it, you can always choose to unmatch with anyone at any time.

Unmatching with people will also help your message inbox not get over-populated, making it easier for you to connect to the people you want to communicate with when you’re online.

Setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do when you’re trying to get comfortable with an uncomfortable idea, like online dating, and it will help your overall journey online.

4. Check In with Yourself

If you’re not necessarily thrilled with the idea of online dating and you have a bit of anxiety when it comes to approaching your love life, that’s okay, and it’s completely natural. We don’t want you to feel as though you have to force yourself to enjoy something that you don’t, and we never want you to feel uncomfortable when you’re online dating. 

Suppose you truly want to master the art of online dating as an introvert. In that case, you need to get comfortable with checking in on yourself and making sure that you feel good about what’s happening around you and how your online dating journey is going.

Remember, this is online dating, not a competitive sport. You’re not going to get a trophy for endurance; you’re just going to get burnt out and start to hate the idea of online dating.

Take the proper time and care of yourself when you’re online dating. Make sure that you’re happy about what’s happening around you and that you’re enjoying your experience.

5. Find People Who Make You Feel Comfortable

Even though this is a bit of the point when it comes to finding someone online, we can’t stress this enough. When you’re looking for someone you want to explore a relationship with online, find people who make you feel comfortable and feel like you’re at home.

There is absolutely no reason to waste your time and energy on someone who isn’t worth it, and if you’re an introvert, you especially don’t want to get burnt out or tired talking to people who aren’t worth your time. 

Instead, find people you have something in common with or remind you of yourself. We’re not saying that you should date your carbon copy when you’re on a dating site, but if you find someone online who shares the same hobbies as you do or who went to the same college as you, you’re more likely to connect with them and have something to talk about once you do.

It’s always nice to have a general idea of what you can talk about when you match with someone online, and it’s also nice to match with someone who has something in common with you. That familiarity can ground you a bit and make you feel safe when approaching something as alienating and scary as online dating. 

A Final Note of Encouragement

Just taking the first step and investing a bit of your time and energy into learning how to approach online dating in a way that’s going to serve you best is already a huge step.

Here’s the truth — no one is perfect when it comes to dating. There is no rulebook, and no one knows what’s going on when they approach the world of online dating.

Everyone feels lost when they first begin their journey on dating sites, and it’s completely natural to get overwhelmed when you start out with online dating. 

That being said, we hope that a few of our tips and tricks hit home for you, and you’ll be able to apply them to your dating life as you go forward. 

Online dating should be fun, even if you are an introvert, and it’s also a bit scary. We hope you’re able to embrace everything that the world of online dating can provide for you and that you’re excited to get started on your online dating journey after reading this article. 

We know it can feel scary, and you might not necessarily want to start, but we’re proud of you for taking the plunge.

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